Memorial Day Weekend - A Few Thoughts . . .

During this time, let us remember to give thanks and to pray for those who have put, and are putting, their lives on the line for us. We often forget how blessed we really are to live in the great USA.

I have been in contact with some who are fighting in wars, and their stories would bring anyone with half a heart to tears. The darkness of death lurks all around them day and night. The choices they must make in do or die situations are unbelievable and quite heart-breaking. They often must make quick decisions in a blink of an eye: Their lives and those around them depend on it.

I can't stress enough that we must pray for them and their safety each and every day. We must make it a point as citizens to give them a place to come back to, where they can be proud that they have served. Let us not judge our veterans for the mental and emotional battles they must continue to fight after returning. Instead, let's give them comfort and compassion, joining in to share our appreciation for all that they have done.

Let's have a safe and happy life together now and forever, by being truly grateful.

The Mature Personality . . .

An individual is a sum total of habit-conditioning influences that have helped shape your personality from the day of birth. Such shaping has come from influences within the home, stemming from family members and friends. Other influences come from outside the home, including religious influences and the influence of society. Just as it takes a variety of colors to make a rainbow, many factors make up each personality.

Fortunately, most personality traits are not inherited, and even those that are can be controlled. They are expressions of the "inner you," which have largely been learned and acquired through conditioning and imitation.

Personality is influenced by conscious and unconscious factors. Psychoanalysts believe that personality can be changed only by bringing what is buried in the subconscious mind to the level of conscious awareness. They may be preponderantly correct in this, but only if action is taken once an individual is aware of it.

Mature personality involves self-control. Developing and maintaining a healthy personality involves hard work and persistent attention to acquire the desired qualities. Gradually, a personality shift may occur deep in the recesses of your subconscious mind, but such a shift may be one of the most difficult endeavors in an individual’s life. It is, I believe, proper to make the assumption that, aside from minor, evolutionary shifts and modifications over a lifetime, a formed personality is generally a permanent one.

Turn On Your Self-Healer . . .

Healing rests in the hands of every human being. We all carry with us the most powerful medicine that exists. We have it only if we choose to use it, if we learn to use it.

Whatever gives us an encouraging sense of control–whether it is love, faith or cognitive coping–seems to set off our self-healing systems. Some people experience, being told by their physicians, because that person has a serious illness there’s little hope in leading a "normal" life. When some people are put in this situation, they appear to use courage, determination, even anger, to take control and turn on their healing systems. Everyone has their own way, some may do it by meditating, praying, renewing strained relationships, or giving their bodies the love that it has been craving, through good nutrition and exercise.

Regardless of the situation, what leads us to believe it, if we become assured that we can control our lives, our bodies, and our health, we obviously gain access to our self-healer.

Any painful, chronic illness often leads people to believe that nothing can be done to help them and that their situation is hopeless. Dramatic changes in pain relief can occur, only if such people are able to gain some sense of control.

People who believe they can be effective in managing a problem, including their own health situations, have also experienced beneficial effects in their immune systems.

Researchers are now seriously searching how positive thoughts and feelings can promote healing and keep us well. The secret effect of faith, love, and positive expectations on health and disease has long been acknowledged in many elements, but how these forces work in the body is still a mystery.

We appear to have powerful healing systems in our bodies that give us the possibilities to overcome much pain and illness if we can learn to use them. Certain evidence suggests that our systems respond to anticipate the best possible outcome, caring, closeness, hope, and other positive thoughts. Those who may be the most out of touch with these self-healing processes are those who most likely get sick.

By toning down our negative thoughts and beliefs, we can be less susceptible to illness. When we use thinking control and restructuring, we help to reconstruct a balance to the mind and body that affects on the nervous system, our hormones, and immune defenses. However, being less negative is one thing, being positive is another. There is such a thing as "mind-made disease" illnesses that can be largely triggered by our own stressful thoughts and behavior—there is good reason to believe the also "mind-made health" is a reality.


Body’s Response to Love
Having the ability to love and care about yourself and others is an important factor in having a healthy immune system. Less illness is associated with the caring character. People who seek friendship and a union with others are generally more healthy. The effects of tender loving care can be deep. Social support in general has provided additional evidence of the benefit of positive thoughts and feeling on health. We need each other.

Smiling May Help
 Just putting on a happy face can be beneficial. There was a study, by Bandura, a well-known psychologist, that showed if we take on aspects of happiness, we can increase blood flow to the brain and stimulate release of favorable neurotransmitters. In other words, if we are anxious or depressed, we may prompt better feelings by putting a positive look on our faces.

Creating a Hope Habit
 People who live longer have shown that they properly have a sense of hope, order, and control in their lives. "The hope habit" seems to encourage length of service by reducing the effects of stress on the body and turning on self-healing systems. Some believe that hopeful patterns of thinking can be cultivated like any habit or discipline, for example, brushing our teeth.

Happiness and Health
Happiness is related to attitude and how a person chooses to look at things. The four attitudes found to be particularly important to happiness are to anticipate the best possible outcome, lack of disbelief, mistrust, hate, misgiving etc., belief that life has true meaning and the feelings of control.

We need to give our body the care and love it deserves. By doing this, our body will respond in a healthy way. It is important to turn the positive thoughts up really loud, so we can be able to put such thoughts into action. Remembering that, by smiling we are giving ourselves and others a special gift, the joy of happiness. If we make it a habit to be positive, having a smile, have hope, and share love, we will be in better health!

Heroes . . .

We look up to our heroes. They set examples we can follow. When times get rough, heroes take the positive side. They help us to have the strength to carry on.

We tend look at heroes from a distance. We never really see the pain in their own lives because they are too busy helping to remove pain from ours. When the time comes for them to share with us just what they have gone through, their experiences often tax the imagination.

Tears, grieving, and sadness are often evoked by knowing what had happened. Yet it is not a depressive type of sadness. The hero’s understanding, reassurance, and optimism replace the negative feelings. Heroes can turn the darkest of days into bright and shining ones.

Our heroes are with us always. They show that we can—and how we can—experiment until we make the right decisions. If we give them just a little chance to show they care, heroes can change our lives forever.

Just what is a hero? A hero is someone who takes responsibility for and charge of his/her own life. A hero is someone who never gives up. A hero is someone who can see the good in everything that happens, even if it seems bad at the time—no matter how bad it seems—who understands that "God works to the good with those who love Him."

We as humans make mistakes. A hero is willing to give us a second chance. Forgiveness is a prime value.

A hero always stands ready to help and stand by others, to serve others. One such Hero once said, "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." This means more than dying for another; this means setting aside one’s life, however temporarily, to lend aid to a friend. And a hero’s friends are plentiful—the hero knows that we all can use that helping hand. This includes him/herself, for the hero also has the humility to accept a hand when needed.

Such a hero can be you.

You are a creature of choice. You can choose to allow your problems, your sorrows and pains, to bring you down, or you can choose to use them to emerge as a new, beautiful creature, like a butterfly from its cocoon. You can make a difference in your own life and in the lives of others.

No matter what you have gone through, there is definitely a hero inside you. What better hero, then, is there to have than yourself? All you need to do is to make your own those attributes you so admire.

Think about it. Then pass it on—with love.

Learn to Push Past Fatigue . . .

Fatigue does not have to impede progress toward your objectives and goals. Getting tired is not a signal to quit. Many people, when tired, mistakenly continue to work on projects requiring too much concentration and creativity, only to become frustrated. The escalation of this "fatigue-inaction response" then results in the feeling of getting further and further behind.

Yet others, facing such projects, simply quit before they begin.

Use fatigue rather as a signal that it is time to switch gears from a project or activity needing more awareness to one needing less brain power. Normally there is no end to the number of activities from which you can choose, but you will find that, when fatigued, you can operate more effectively on lower priority projects and activities.

If you get into the habit of quitting a task just because you feel tired, your mind begins to play tricks on you. Whenever you face a challenging project requiring intense thought, your mind may then trigger fatigue, creating an excuse for not even getting started.

If you continue to stay awake and remain active in the face of this type of fatigue, it will pass, and you will once again experience alertness. By becoming more aware of your body’s responses, you will discover your fatigue cycle and be able to use it to your benefit.

Getting some sunlight into your eyes can be a significant help, especially if you are becoming somnolent, or drowsy. Just step outside for a few, if you can, and look toward the sky for a few moments. Don't look directly at the sun (I think you already know that, of course), but let the daylight hit your retinas. Light stimulates the retinas, which then send signals through your neurons to the hypothalamus, which participates in the establishment of sleep patterns. These signals will tell the hypothalamus that it isn't time to sleep, and it will help to perk you up.

I know that is a bit over-simplified and not specifically precise, but I wanted to keep from getting too technical since this is not a college essay. :)

Moving right along, if you follow these suggestions, you will definitely become more active and feel better along the way. This depends, however, on when you decide to get started.

Why not right now?

The Virtue of Gratitude . . .

"We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedom–to choose one’s attitude in a given set of circumstances." - Victor Frankl

Have you ever stopped to wonder how some people are able to have such a positive attitude, where others do not? Some of the most impaired persons show us their inner strength by just loving to live. The secret to love—and a sense of joy and gratitude toward all life—is to see, feel, and hear as if it were the First Time. When we can live our lives as if it were always the first time—the first time we gazed upon the face of our beloved, the first time we tasted ice cream, the first time we saw a bird fly through the blue sky—we would not have to try to experience a sense of gratitude. It will be there, automatically, as a natural response to the beauty and the bounty.

If you want the habit of gratitude to grace your life, it is essential that you develop the belief you are here on Earth to fulfill some special purpose only you can offer to the world. You are an amazingly rare, totally unmatchable individual with talents and gifts the world anxiously needs. The more you experience the truth of your uniqueness and beauty, the more you will feel gratitude for your particular gifts, and the more you will be able to deliver those gifts.

It will help to realize the value of gratitude toward ourselves if we visualize our heart as a delicate treasure, hand-blown from the rarest ethereal glass. It is a treasure valuable beyond imagining—fragile, irreplaceable, priceless, and ancient. There is no other like it—infinitely precious, existing before time and after infinity.

In reality, we were entrusted with such a mysterious treasure when we were given the gift of life.

An attitude of gratitude gets us off the treadmill and out of the rat race. As we cultivate a true and deep appreciation for what we do have, we realize that our sense of lack is, for the most part, an illusion. No matter what the circumstances, the richness of our soul is ultimately what brings us true happiness.

Gratitude has to do with feeling full, complete, adequate—we have everything we need and deserve; if we approach the world with a sense of value.

Gratitude is an attitude that can be consciously chosen, no matter our circumstances. We have two options: We can focus on the negative and descend into a spiral of negativity and gloom, or we can choose to look at what is right in any given situation, and become a beacon of love and joy.

Let us focus on the positive and make a virtue of our attitude. With this positive attitude, We will not be disabled, but, will instead be able to lead the fullest of what life has to offer.

Impending Disaster In The Medical Industry?

How often have you or a loved one gone to the doctor or the emergency room expecting to get help? Instead, you receive a prescription or are just sent home. So often, they tell to us what we already know. Who doesn’t know, for example, what a cold or headache feels like? We are not going to these places to be told what we necessary have. We want to be on the road toward recovery.

It can take hours before they bring the message to us. Moreover, doctor visits, tests, and prescriptions have gone up immensely in the last five years. If insurance refuses to cover the cost, the consumer is responsible this cost. For HMO and Medicaid patients, this can seem impossible. This turns these patients into victims because no follow up care is being done.

The point is, it isn't necessarily the doctor's fault. I have many clients who are on Medicaid or in HMOs, and it seems those organizations often seem to feel they know more than the doctors who are trying to get approval for their patients. So the patients too often have no other choice but to do without because the means are taken away.

Would you like to know what may be about to happen to all of us involving the health care plan that congress is wanting to pass? Look no further than HMOs and Medicaid. Come to think of it, maybe that isn't a fair comparison. It just might get worse.

Dealing With Negative Thoughts . . .

The average person produces more than 200 negative thoughts a day: worries, jealousies, insecurities, cravings for forbidden things, etc. (Depressed people will have up to 600!) You can’t eliminate all the troublesome thoughts that go through your mind, but you can certainly reduce them, both in number and severity. Here’s how:

1. When a negative thought begins to surface in your mind, pause. Stop what you are doing for a few seconds. Do not say anything—talk will only reinforce the bad feeling.

2. Take five deep, slow breaths. By taking in more oxygen, you flush out your system and lower your level of anxiety. If you do this correctly, you will approach a meditative state.

3. Concentrate on a pleasant, relaxing scene—a walk throughout the mountains, for example. Take two to three minutes for a minor trouble, up to ten minutes for a serious upset.

Use this technique continually until the upsetting thoughts begin to decrease. Many things are beyond your control, but there are also many things you can control. How you handle your thoughts is one of them. By paying more attention to what you can control will help you to lead a more productive life. In return, you will have greater amounts of happiness, and live in better health.

Personality and Personal Challenges . . .

Personality is the outward or surface expression of the inner self—the inner "you." It includes a combination of many things: the way one walks, dresses, eats, and talks; the tone of one’s voice, facial expression, and what you say and how you say it. It also involves habits: ways of doing things, mannerisms, and the control and expression of emotions.

A large factor to personality attitude about the self and others, including desires, dreams, and ambitions; basic attitude toward life; likes and dislikes; beliefs and disbeliefs; the ability to love and be loved; and the capacity to survive misfortune. All these things and others constitute the total person.

All that adds up to a huge task when working with personal challenges. I am here to help.

How to Gain Control Over Stress . . .

The most powerful control over stress, which all of us have, is cognitive control. This means learning to control our reaction to a bad situation to reduce the stress it places on us. Cognitive control stems from the belief that we can change the hurtful impact, both the psychological and the physical impact, of a situation, or challenge, by how we interpret the problem, how we look at it. When we begin to choose to view our losses, hurts, and frustrations from more positive perspectives, we develop power over what can otherwise cause us damage.

All of us have the ability to think, and choose how we handle our thoughts. Some people who are high in hardiness (mental health) and low in illness use what is called transformational coping to deal with their challenges. Transformational coping simply means modifying events so they are less stressful. To be able to do this, we must interact with the events, thinking about them in a more promising way and acting toward them with self-confidence can help to reduce stressful experiences.

On the other hand, some people who are low in hardness and high in illness use what is called regressive coping, or dwelling on negative events and acting ambiguously (with no plan in mind) to avoid contact with them.

Thus, effective coping, which is our ability to increase our resistance to both mental and physical illness, consists of three factors:

1. Viewing challenges with less negativity, which will help to reduce how hard they hit us both psychologically and physically,

2. Taking some action to change those challenges (our environment), if change is possible, and

3. Relieving the physical and mental effects of the challenge by exercise, relaxation, and other healthy behaviors. Breathing exercises, meditation, and eating habits are great examples of what can be used.

All this, incidentally, is addressed in my website, which I have linked here.

Continuously affirm to yourself, "It is just an event"

It was Shakespeare who said, "This, too, shall pass." Life each day can be viewed as a stream of connected events—some positive and some negative. The negative events can cause great stress, but they have the stress-producing power that only you assign to them. Separate your perception, opinion, and value judgment of a negative event from the event. Affirm to yourself, "It is just an event," and you will avoid triggering stress reactions.

Because time proceeds in one direction only, you have neither the power nor the option to change the outcome of a past event. But you have total power to choose how or whether you will respond or react to it, thereby influencing succeeding events and outcomes.

It is likely that, because of different beliefs, values, and opinions, four people who see the same event will relate and react to it in four different ways. But beliefs, values, and opinions are always in the mind, not in the event. Use this knowledge to separate your emotions from the events that occur in your life.

Probably 80 percent of the stress you experience during your life is created solely by how you use your mind. If you use your mind as you always have and as those around you use theirs, your stress level will continue to build until your body breaks down.

If, however, you learn to use your mind correctly, your stress level will be automatically reduced. Therefore, your goal is to stop reacting mentally and emotionally to what is going on around you, to perceive each new situation as just a neutral event. Then you can choose unemotionally what response to make. Your life stays under your control.

Daily life is full of potentially stress-triggering events. As you become more active, accept more challenges, and set more goals, your potential for stress becomes greater. Yet your stress level is something over which you can exercise almost total control, should you choose to.

Acquiring a Sense of Control . . .

A sense of control does not mean that we in essence control everything around us–other people, and all situations and circumstances, both good and bad. People who try to do this are at a higher risk of illness, not a reduced risk.

Bad situations and circumstances are foreseeable in life. Although many cannot be controlled, it is possible, even under extreme conditions, not only to survive but to retain a sense of health and well-being.

One key is through what we do cognitively (what decisions we make) and what values we place on the "bad" things around us. We often cannot control reality, but we can learn to control how we react to it.

This inner control seems to come easier for those who have strong faith, a faith in their own God-given coping skills, and in those special places from which they draw strength, such as people they love and trust. This inner control may be enhanced by sense of stability and connectedness. This comes from a belief in certain central, valued, and enduring elements of life experiences.

People who feel no control in their lives often have little sense of purpose, meaning, or their own capabilities. Hopelessness and depression, in turn, will leave us vulnerable to illness.

A healthy life, then, is related to attitude and how a person chooses to look at things. It is all about the way we think, about seizing control of our own thoughts and attitudes.

You Must Put Forth Effort to Excel . . .

Too often, talented people put their heart and soul into a project and then give up at the first sign of failure. It is not that they lack talent or opportunity; it is that they lacked persistent effort. That is true for most of us, most of the time. If life is hard, then maybe we need to work harder.

Remember, when you are working toward a positive end, you need to be with people who are on the same page, with the same mindset, and not conflicting with your goals.

Do you love your life today, or do you find yourself daydreaming about the past or wistfully looking ahead to the future? If you notice that your head is anywhere but in the same room with the rest of your body, maybe it is time that you take an inventory of your life, the way it is, right now. Only by facing your life exactly the way it is right now can you take the steps to lead yourself to an even brighter tomorrow.

You determine the quality of this moment. Make it the best one possible.

Positive Thoughts Are Not Enough . . .

Those of us who find that positive thoughts are not enough must add action to the list. Positive thoughts are fulfilled by positive action. Searching for the answer, forgiving someone, developing a new skill, asking the right questions, going onward with life: These can all be positive actions.

Knowing the answer is out there is a great start. Now we must go look for the answer.

We take action to create a new fact. The answer is not always available, and it may not be the answer we want. But if we do not act, we will not find the right answers. Positive thoughts plus positive action will lead us toward new ideas.

Random Thoughts: Attributes Speak Louder Than Words . . .

Do you finish what you have started? If so, you are an achiever. If not, most likely you are a person who uses excuses for what you have not completed.

Do you have control over your life? If you do, nothing is impossible. If you don’t, accomplishing is going to be difficult for you.

Are you a person who demands respect? If you feel that you have to demand respect, respect is not there. Conversely, if you command respect, it is given without having to ask for it. It is there because you have earned it. Think about it.

Are you able to take care of your finances? If your finances are not taken care of you are not taking care of yourself. If you do not take care of yourself, it becomes very difficult to help anyone else.

Are you a person who dislikes the past being brought up? If so, you are experiencing guilt, fear, anger, and resentment toward yourself and others. If you don’t mind it when the past is talked about, you are secure with yourself and what you have done. It's called strength of character.

Do you always do something because you expect something in return? If this is the case you are doing it for the wrong reason. If you expect nothing in return, you are doing it out of the goodness of your heart, and with this action you will accomplish even more.

Do you feel that you have sacrificed yourself for another person? If you feel this way everything that you have done is a total loss because the goings were not totally completed, or they were soon taken away . This is just another way of showing insecurity. If you enjoy what you have given, and what you have shared, you are secure enough to know that you have done the best that you could, and have given it your all.

What You Think About, You Become . . .

A great philosopher once said, "The ideas and images in men’s minds are the invisible powers that constantly govern them." The philosopher Herbert Spencer added, "It is the mind that maketh good or ill, that maketh wretched or happy, rich or poor." Scripture says simply, "For as [a person] thinketh in his heart, so is he."

Our fears, attitudes, and beliefs, all imbedded deep in our subconscious minds, tend to become self-fulfilling prophecies. When you allow the condition to control your life, you reinforce recurring problems.

Until you become motivated to control your life, nothing or no one will be able to help. Many people have actually made their condition worse because of their attitudes—the way they have used their thoughts and feelings. Yet others have become better because of they way they managed their belief systems. They came to know they would get better.

How you think is totally up to you, and it is so important to the outcome of your good health and life. You have complete control over whether you will think positive or negative. It is a choice that we all have, one we all must make.

But be warned: A choice will be made, either actively or by default. In other words, if you fail to make a choice at all, you have already chosen the negative. It behooves each of us, then, to begin to take measures toward creating a positive belief system, a system that—guaranteed—will never fail you.

Get a Second Opinion and Do Your Own Research . . .

So often, many of us take for granted that the doctors know our needs and know how to treat such needs. The truth is that many issues involved are either disregarded or left unknown. Much of what is practiced in the medical field is nothing but a guessing game.

Doctors generally treat the symptoms, not the cause. Due to this any disease, and or illness can be diagnosed. The doctor is more likely to turn to the prescription pad before even checking the history of the person. The notes that are written at the time of the appointment are more unlikely, than likely, to be seen again. The same goes for important tests.  

It seems that each time one goes to pay the doctor a visit, the same process as before is started over again. Nothing is really accomplished except more medication, testing, and even surgery. How many have asked these same questions, "What is wrong with me?" "When am I going to get better?"

Too many more questions are frequently left unanswered and continue to take a rise in number, even after years of treatment. Gaining second opinions from other physicians not affiliated with the first can often help. Perhaps of even greater value is to do your own research involving your condition. This will help you to understand more about your illness, and help you to better communicate with your physician.

Spring Is Here . . .

I wanted to take this time to wish you a happy and fulfilling spring. This time of the year it's easy to get dehydrated. So this is a reminder to make sure you take the fluids you need to stay healthy.

Labeling Can Hurt . . .

A man walks into the door, pulls out a gun, then starts shooting at numerous people. Another man inserts a bomb in a building. The outcome is death for many people. The central response is not on the wrongfulness of his action, but that he is a paranoid schizophrenic.

Just what this does is to put a label on other persons who have a related condition. The more the exposure, the more the effect. Does this mean that, if one person who has schizophrenia acts in a harmful manner, all will act in the same way?

What about the person with epilepsy? Should he/she be regarded as an epileptic? Is that how such individuals want to be stereotyped? Immediately, such profiling creates an image in the mind of the observer, depending on how the observer views the specific condition.

I just believe that we need to be a bit more sensitive as to how our references to such individuals affect them. Not that I'm all that much into "political correctness." But I do like the concept of the Golden Rule: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

Make the Most of Each Day . . .

There is much that can be said for the philosophy, "Live one day at a time." Wallowing in past regret, or worrying about the future, is wasted energy. Concentrate on the present. Making plans for tomorrow, the next day, and the one after is wise, but you must not forget that unless you start today with your self-improvements, your future will not improve.

What you will be tomorrow depends on what you do today. Discipline yourself to enjoy each moment of living. No one knows what tomorrow will bring. So enjoy and make most of today.

Living can be simplified. You need merely to accept certain basic truths, certain fundamental common sense rules, and utilize your positive beliefs as a means of putting these rules of healthier living into daily practice.

If you begin today—now—the future will take care of itself. You can formulate your own rules for better living. Include them in a morning prayer at the beginning of each day.

Give it a try. Your own experience will be your best proof of how positive thinking can accomplish wonders for you.