Relax Your Ailments Away . . .

When we feel threatened by an event in the future, we often fall ill. It is a way of avoiding having to deal with the event. You may have noticed yourself feeling a headache coming on before you have to go into a difficult meeting. The greater the fear of the coming event, the more severe the symptoms can be. In extreme circumstances, such as overwhelming pain or emotional trauma, you can actually pass out - faint. When the body senses it cannot cope at all, the nervous system will make sure the body is put out of action for a while.

We are also influenced by past events. A traumatic experience, severe shock, or catastrophic event, especially (but not limited to) one or two years beforehand, together with feeling of guilt, fear, and grief, has been known to precede the occurrence of cancer or cardiovascular malady (blood pressure, heart disease, etc.). Whatever we have not emotionally come to grips with manifests itself physically and mentally until we have dealt with the problem. Depression is common in such a state of mind.

The mind can make us ill, but it can also heal. For example, a sympathetic doctor prescribes some pills that he assures you are very effective and will help you quickly. You feel better already as you leave his office because you expect to get well soon. Your mind has already initiated the healing process. Every time you take a tablet, you think, if only subconsciously, of your doctor’s words that these tablets are very effective. Many studies have shown that the placebic effect can be very powerful.

This is but one example showing how people can get better because they expect it. We all have this great power of belief in us. Whatever we think about with conviction will come true, whether it is good or bad.

Make sure you know what is going on in your conscious mind because that is the only way you can control what is going on in your subconscious mind. If you don’t run your subconscious mind, it will run you, and you may become burdened with things you don’t want.

My site on Conquering Stress provides a free video with an exercise specifically designed to relax you mentally and physically. A calm mind and body is a pre-condition for speedy recovery because when your body is relaxed, cellular tension is reduced. The reduced level of tension promotes a decrease in pain and inflammation and an acceleration of tissue regeneration. It also aids the neurons (brain and nerve cells) in releasing chemicals that fight depression, such as serotonin.

First of all, decide for yourself where your preferred place of retreat should be. Your sanctuary should be somewhere, real or imagined, where you can feel calm and relaxed. This may be a tropical island, a den in the woods, a cosy room, or a garden — it really does not matter, as long as it is simple, descriptive, and restful.

When you have done that, turn on the video and do the exercise with me. If you do it regularly, you will begin to notice a real change in your life. I really believe that.

The Power of Positive Expectancy . . .

Expect things to go right. Believe you are a healthy person. You are not deluding yourself; you are helping yourself. You are furthering your cause, and you are increasing the likelihood of getting what you want.

Remorse is similar to worrying, except that it looks backwards, causing you to feel anxious about something that happened in the past. To feel guilty or ashamed because we made some sort of mistake is necessary. We cannot correct it until we recognize and acknowledge it. But we must not dwell on it.

Yes, that is easier said than done. We try to push the thoughts away, but they keep coming back, reminding us and making us feel terrible about ourselves. The damage, though, is done, no matter how bad we feel. We will not be able to undo it. We cannot turn back the clock.

So why not use it in a constructive way?

The good thing about mistakes is that we learn from them. If we did everything right all the time, we would stand still. It is only when things don’t work out, when we make mistakes, that we learn to look for new ways and build the strength and character to carry them out.

When problems come your way, don’t resist them. You are at your strongest when you stay flexible. Mishaps can occur and sweep you off your feet like a tidal wave. Whether or not you drown in them depends on how you ride the wave.

There is no better way to strengthen your inner self than through the ongoing, effective use of positive affirmations. This is not an opinion; it is a proven fact. However, it is also a fact that affirmations are effective only if done the proper way. You need to get past your conscious mind, which will not believe you, to your subconscious mind, which will. (I go into that thoroughly in the sessions in my course titled "Conquer Stress Today.")

Truly successful people know that the physical situations they have created for themselves do not comprise success. They are only the symptoms of the quality of success that was already there within themselves long before then. The late Earl Nightingale once asked a very rich man at what point he considered himself rich. The man replied, "I was rich long before I ever had any money."

Of course, success is not all about money. "Success" can have different meanings, and we need to be able to define it before we have any chance of achieving it, which is a topic for another day. (See my June 18 entry, "Elusive Success.") The principle here, however, is where it all begins: in the head and in the heart.

It can be there for you, too. Positive expectation is not just an empty expression. It is a process that brings results. This has been repeatedly proven over time. Put the past behind you, once and for all. Expect the best out of yourself. Expect the best to happen for you. The results will amaze you.

No, They're Not Just Like You . . .

Life can be so confusing, can't it? I mean, one moment it's this way, and then before you know it gets turned around.

We all have heard the saying, "Looks can be deceitful." Well, what about feelings, talk, actions just to name a few? So often, our self, the person who we are, can take us on the wrong path. It's easy to think, because we are a certain way, others are the same as we. All the meanful things in life--love, trust, friendship--can be involved. It's like being blinded by the light, the light being our own emotions and beliefs.

There are many who seem friends, but, as it turns out, it is all a game, a game of trapping us into giving to them what they want while they take advantage of the situation. When one does not appreciate you and what you have given, you're clearly dealing with a taker. One moment they love you, then they can't share their love.

How confusing. Before you know it, you're dealing with one excuse after another. "Oh, my heart might be broken," or, "I can't love you because ..."

Still, they want you to give to them for their own needs. They are about themselves. Your feelings and effort mean nothing to them. The major entrapment is that you might feel that things will change, so in return you put more into trying to make this possible. But, with people who are all about the self, nothing is going to change no matter what you do.

Do not waste your energy on someone who is just in it for the convenience! It's not worth your time, and it will only bring you down. Takers/players will do almost anything to get what they want. Don't be fooled. Learn to separate who you are and who they are. Judge nobody by your own principles and character. They are yours, not theirs.

Make the Best of Each Moment . . .

Now is the time to fasten our seat belts as we get ready to learn how to make the most of each day.

Take a crash course in what is happening right now. There is magic and mystery in this very moment. In our VCR world, it's very easy to slip into the notion of pause and replay or do over. But the one thing that time will never do is return. So keep your head where your feet are or you run the risk of missing out on the life- changing lessons and opportunities available only today.

Part of becoming an adult is coming face to face with the reality that all of us receive only twenty-four hours in each day. With this realization comes a certain time-is-wasting urgency that, if left unchecked, can propel us straight from inactivity to overdrive. Both ends of the spectrum can prevent us from making the most of the moment before us.

No matter what the complaint, if a person wants to make an effort, he or she can choose to steer in a better direction. It is hard to face the present because so much has to be done. Because of this factor, many choose to stay in the "safe" past to avoid the hard work of dealing with the present.

Learn to Help Yourself

Several people get caught into a trap where they rely, or depend, too much on others. Most of these people have given up. It is best when you are able to help yourself; you will then less likely give up. It is your life, and you have to make the many hard choices that it takes to live it in a satisfying way. Nobody causes people to do or to become anything: People make themselves into what they are.

If you don't like the way your life is going, you might ask yourself, "What can I do to make it better?"

Your thoughts direct what is and what will be, where you are now, and what you will accomplish in your life. You alone determine how far you can go in life, and the possibilities are endless. No one else can determine your progress-—or failure.

Second chances are given to those who are willing to take the chances. Meanwhile, the procrastinator, the anytime-will-do person, never gets anything done. Life does not wait for anyone.

You Must Put Forth Effort to Excel

Too often, talented people put their heart and soul into a project and then give up at the first sign of failure. It is not that they lack talent or opportunity; it is that they lacked persistent effort. That is true for most of us, most of the time. If life is hard, then maybe we need to work harder.

Remember, when you are working toward a positive end, you need to be with people who are on the same page, with the same mindset, and not conflicting with your goals.

Do you love your life today, or do you find yourself daydreaming about the past or wistfully looking ahead to the future? If you notice that your head is anywhere but in the same room with the rest of your body, maybe it is time that you take an inventory of your life, the way it is, right now. Only by facing your life exactly the way it is right now can you take the steps to lead yourself to an even brighter tomorrow.

You determine the quality of this moment. Make it the best one possible.

Preventive Medicine? You Won't Find It There . . .

"To the Canadian Medical Association, the message is clear: the woeful lack of spending on physician services is the biggest danger to the beleaguered health-care system," said The Medical Post.* This statement is profound in that it provides much of the answer to the medical industry’s REAL underlying motivations. It reveals to us that it is not in their best interests to create healthy people.

This is not to say that doctors or caretakers on the personal level have these attitudes toward their patients. However, one has to wonder just how and to what degree much this underlying, subtle realization controls the way they practice. Beyond them, further up on the hierarchical ladder, one has to wonder whether it is so subtle.

The medical industry depends on monies flowing from what?—From those who are SICK! If we had a world of healthy people, how much money would the medical industry lose—the hospitals, radiology departments, nursing homes, anesthesiologists, pharmacies and drug companies, and doctors and nurses themselves? Moreover, how many individuals would be out of work? Then how much interest does the monster conglomerate known as the medical industry have in immunizations and programs that encourage lifestyle changes or early screenings of at risk people to prevent a disease?

In addition, what is preventive medicine in the medical clinic? Doctors perform essentially three functions: prescribe medicine, perform surgery, and set bones. Preventive medicine in the doctor's office is a periodic medical examination. True preventive medicine, however, is better suited in the offices of nutritionists (not dieticians) and knowledgeable health psychologists. The factors to address are nutrition, exercise, stress management, and the previously mentioned changes of lifestyle (e.g., smoking, drinking, drugs, careless and deviant sexual activities, etc.).

Doctors remain the most influential in this area, although they know precious little about either nutrition or psychology. Yet they are too often reluctant to refer patients to these types of services–-and many health care providers (insurance companies) do provide a dearth of them, if any at all, even though it definitely IS in THEIR interests to do so. The answer lies in education: education of medical health professionals, health care providers, and of patients and their significant others. There is no such thing as "preventive medicine" in the doctor’s office. Therefore, no true evaluation can take place there.

* Hodges, D. (2001). "Health Care Strained by Lack of Spending on Doctors." The Medical Post, Vol. 37, Page20.

Elusive Success . . .

Success. For centuries, philosophers from Plato to Kant clear down to our contemporaries have pondered, argued, kicked around, and bandied about this seemingly innocent, common, seven-letter word. The more effort they have made to pin it down, to attach a concrete definition to it, the more elusive it has seemed. They and others have written volumes about the subject, much of which has been recorded in the Great Books of the Western World where success is listed as one of the "102 Great Ideas."

Much effort has been made in contemporary times to pull this "Great Idea" out of the ethereal level of debate down to the thinking level of the rest of us, the more "common" people. Especially in the last thirty years, a crop of "positive thinkers" has arisen, publishing books and cassette tapes on the subject. Much of this literature, however, seemingly puts the "cart before the horse," giving instructions on how to achieve success while averting its definition.

One exception is the late Earl Nightingale who, in his cassette tape course, Leading the Field, described success as the "progressive realization of a worthwhile goal." However, his admirable attempt, regrettably, can easily be picked apart. For instance, what is meant by "worthwhile," by "progressive"? What type of "worthwhile" goal has been set, how realistic is it, and in what area of life can the goal be found? Is the progression fast enough to satisfy the aspirant, or could it be too fast? Indeed, how can a goal alone (or any number of goals) be sufficient for success, which — it turns out — still has not been adequately defined?

All this has proven that success is too abstract, too broad a term to explicitly describe within a few words, considering the limited semantic resources available among humankind's finite languages. However, the inability to do so does not mean that no one exists who knows precisely what success is or when one becomes successful. One anonymous contributor comes close with the following:

He has achieved success who has lived long, laughed often, and loved much. Who has gained the trust of pure women, the respect of intelligent men, and the love of little children. Who has filled his niche and accomplished his task. Who has looked for the best in others, and given the best he had. Whose life was an inspiration: whose memory a benediction.

So how does one achieve this? And apart from the ability to arrive at a simplified description, how does one find that precise knowledge of success?

Some night, walk out onto the porch or balcony and look off into the northern sky. Somewhere out there is the home of a Person who knows the answer. He achieved the greatest success ever some 2,000 years ago during His own agonizing death (and subsequent resurrection, about which only a dozen or so knew), though nearly everyone then thought it was His consummate failure. This Person, who has never known failure, will freely share all the information needed about success; in fact, He has written a Book about it. Moreover, this Book is the only source for the meaning of true, lasting success and how to achieve it. The all-time best seller, it can be found virtually anywhere, from book stores to the local Salvation Army. Just ask for it by its title: The Holy Bible.

Retrieved from the essay "Elusive Success" by Lora Morrow, 1995

Aim high! Follow your own vision straight to the top!

Aim high! Do you have a sense of where you want to go? Or do you draw a blank when you hear that question? If you cannot picture where you would like to be five years from now, do not stare hard to find it; relax and turn your focus inward. Find a quiet place, close your eyes, and concentrate on and visualize a part of your body you feel the most comfortable with.

Then, as you visualize yourself where you want to be, create a Vision Statement. Decide who you want to become in your life and what legacy you would like to leave behind. Do more than walk around with a vague vision in your mind. Be specific. Use your powers of vision to persuade your subconscious of its existence and inevitability.

Notice what thoughts and images float through your mind. Try to imagine a place where you feel happy and fulfilled, then describe to yourself that place and how you see yourself therein. If you have been leading a busy, task-oriented life with your focus on the short-term, it may take time for you to develop a vision statement. Be patient and have faith that it eventually will surface if you have the willingness to seek it. Forming a vision statement and deciding what you really care about means that you are the lead writer of your autobiography, and each day is a brilliant new chapter.

After careful thought and discussion, you need to reduce your inspiration for the future to a few crisp sentences, articulating your vision clearly so that your intent, purpose, plan, and preference are clear to you and all concerned.

Commitment to a concrete vision statement is contagious. It will help you to reach your highest goals, and others will believe in you as well.

Aim high! As you read your vision statement, you should feel yourself inspired and pulled upward where success awaits you because a positive vision encourages you with the understanding that the way things are is not the way that they have to be. Many find it helpful to attach a higher purpose to their vision, so that its achievement will serve them as well as a greater community or divine good.

Expect more from yourself and you will reap more. Aim high, stay true, and take ownership of what is possible.

Expect the best from yourself and others. When you demand a lot from yourself, those around you are likely to pick up their own pace. Self-respect and hard work engender another’s self-respect, to develop a mutual respect between you, and to foster dedication. Looking for the best in others will help them to believe in themselves and the importance of accomplishing their part of your shared vision. Take time to applaud their strides. Try to be specific as possible in your compliments so you are helping to reinforce their work in a constructive way. Most of all, assume the best is starting now!

There is no right or wrong vision statement. Each vision is as individual as its creator. Think about life’s possibilities as though they were beautiful, and its colorful fragments. As you look at them, use your vision, your opinion of perfection. Adjust the sight to the desired configuration. Likewise, your vision statement will bear your personal stamp, formed by your personality, beliefs, preferences, creativity, and life experiences. It is your willingness and ability to take from your life experience that wisdom which, notwithstanding people or things that would seek to deter you will lead you to a better tomorrow.

Aim high! Follow your vision. Consider a road that leads five hundred miles to your destination. Before you get on the road, you will probably look at road maps to guide your selection of the route. You might even break the trip down into segments, with planned rest stops along the way. You will probably build extra time into your scheduled arrival so that you have the luxury of taking any extra breaks if the journey becomes too hard.

At each stop, planned and otherwise, you can check your progress against your envisioned destination, see how it is going, and adjust your vision accordingly. This is the way you can enforce your vision statement.

Do you plan your day in the morning or the evening before? It is a good discipline to get into. As you map out your plan for the day, you might consider keeping your vision statement close at hand. After you have drafted out the day’s events, see how they measure up against your vision for the future. Find out if you can include at least one step, task, or project that will inch you closer to the achievement of your vision. You might even consider preplanning and scheduling some project steps across the days and weeks that lie ahead.

Aim high! Open your eyes and put these rules in play today. Craft your vision in your head. Work on your vision from your heart. Someday, you will truly learn to fly.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness Takes Work

Nothing blocks the feelings of gratitude more than anger and resentment. This is why the practice of gratitude requires the work of forgiveness. It is almost impossible to feel grateful toward others for what we received from them when we are still angry about how they have treated us. Nor can we receive the gifts of a relationship that has ended when we still feel hurt over betrayal, angry over deceit, sorrowful over abandonment.

Nor should we. Trying to force ourselves to feel grateful when such negative feelings exist only compounds the pain. We have been hurt. Let us not deny our woundedness on top of everything else. Acknowledging the grievance and grieving the loss or wound, needs to happen first, before the healing can take place.

However, there comes a time in the process of emotional resolution for forgiveness. For only forgiveness can move us out of the victim stance and free us to move on. Depending on what kind of wound you have suffered, this may take deep psychological and spiritual work. No one can talk you into it. No one can do it for you. Only you can come to the place where you want to forgive.

Forgiveness does not mean accepting wrong behavior. Many of us feel justified by not forgiving. However, there is no moving forward until we forgive. Every experience has come to us as learning tools so that we might grow in wisdom and understanding. It is impossible to learn and advance without experiences. Instruments such as people and conditions provide us with these experiences. Maybe the better way of looking at it would be that they are doing us a favor, rather than being resentful, or hateful. They are giving us an opportunity to learn, expand, and to grow.

Make a Commitment to Forgive

We must, first establish an honest desire to forgive. Without this, we cannot release any noticeable power or satisfaction that can be felt by not forgiving. When facing and accepting reality, we will benefit. Reality is not to punish and cause injury to ourselves in physical, emotional, and spiritual ways. An example is hanging on to the thoughts of anger, hurt, resentment, or feeling that you have been taken advantage of. By having such feelings we produce destructive brain chemicals that have a great impact in the rest of our bodies as well. That in return can cause illness and/or depression. It is best to make the commitment to forgive.

Accept Responsibility

Accept responsibility that you may have first set the position into motion. Realize that the law of cause and effect is always in motion. This law is a law of love, not one of punishment. Do not judge or break down the experiences of others. In the art of forgiving we learn from the lessons or challenges in our experiences.

Forgive Yourself

We must accomplish forgiving ourselves first, before we can forgive others. Once we have freed ourselves from guilt, and self-depreciation, in every form, we become more aware of who we really are. Forgiveness must convert feelings and actions of the past, present, and future. The power of forgiveness is always present. It requires actions of prayer, in honesty and sincerity. We then become free to go to our own good, and to be able to aid others to their own good. This will always bring a brighter light into the darkest of times. Let us all join in to see the light.

The Misuse of Personal Power . . .

Your physical power is limited to the now. If you want to move the chair you're sitting on, for instance, you can only do it in the present. You cannot move the chair in either the past or the future. You can wish you had moved the chair yesterday or last week, or you can think about moving it sometime in the future, but neither your wishes nor your thoughts are of any consequence.

You have no power to change your past physically. However, you do have the power in the present moment to change your thoughts, feelings, and attitudes about bygone events. After all, it is your mind, your emotions, and your attitude, and in any single present moment no one has power over them except you--unless you give that power to other people or to past events by the way you choose to think about them.

In effect, you can choose either to react or respond to your past. Reacting to your past is the process of allowing your thoughts to trigger and stir up the same negative emotions about past events you didn't like when you experienced them the first time. Responding to your past is the process of accepting where you are in the present as an okay place to be, then dealing with your past as nothing more than a stream of already lived events that have no direct power over your present other than what you give it. Mentally accept where you are and move on from there.

All too often, when you dredge up unpleasant memories, you trigger the negative emotions of guilt or self-criticism characterized by self-flagellating thoughts of what should have or ought to have been. Or you center the blame on people, events, or bad luck and end up experiencing the negative emotions of anger, hate, self-pity, jealously, revenge, and resentment. Yet you have changed nothing. You have punished no one--except yourself. All you have done is render yourself ineffective and emotionally out of balance, leaving yourself powerless. Which is the easiest way to run a hundred yards: pulling a wagon loaded with two hundred pounds of bricks, or remaining totally unimpeded of anything dragging along behind you?

Retrieved June 15, 2010, from "Your Present Has Power" by Lora Morrow

Ramblings From My Diary: On Character

Throughout my life, I have been the type of person who always wanted the best: the best meaning, happiness, caring, sharing, for myself and those around me. My love has brought warm feelings and healing of which miracles are made. I don’t do the things that I do out of greed or to cause any pain. Instead, it is shared to help make life a better place through peace and harmony.

It all begins with friendship. There is nothing better than this as a foundation. If the feelings are mutual then the friendship will last forever. Both parties are bonded in trust and are there for one another. However, when it is one-sided there is always pain. Someone gets hurt because they're being taken advantage of and/or misled to thinking something totally false.

It takes two to build a friendship, but it takes only one to destroy it.

I have learned just how evil the human heart can be. So often I have been misled. When I make a commitment, I go up and beyond to that of a normal person because I mean it. I give it my all, or what the other will allow me to give. When it is seen and felt in the way it should, nothing is taken away. Instead, something is always added in my life and theirs, and it lasts forever.

Being who I am, and doing what I believe, often brings light to those who accept the true meaning, and me for who I truly am. Those who turn away cannot take the light because they live in darkness. Darkness cannot stand the light, and that’s where I find that I don’t belong. Even having been told I’m too nice tells me few can or will understand me. How persons treat others is how they feel about themselves. Often this causes me the greatest of pain--pain and sorrow for them for what they lost: a true friend.

More and more, I see and experience the sadness of how this world is turning out, what so many are missing and losing by being divided into their own little worlds, without sharing or caring. United we stand divided we fall, as the saying goes.

For those of us who are true, honest, and sincere, it is hard even to find someone who will be a friend, much less anything else, that which grows deeper. If we can’t ask each other for help and comfort, then whom can we ask? Even the meaning of "family" isn’t the same as it once was. So much has been taken away, due to selfishness and greed. Wise up people! It is not what you have; it is what you give. If you have nothing to share, you’re only making up excuses, and excuses are lies. In the long run you’ll be left with nothing because you are being blinded by the light that life has to offer.

It is a very simple formula: When one does the right thing, good things will happen. When doing the wrong thing, bad things will happen. There’s always a price to pay when one knowingly takes advantage of another. Another cliché: You reap what you sow. In the end the only thing you can take with you is your character, who and what you have become while alive.

When that time comes, what will that look like?

The Attributes of Big Ben . . . No, Not That One . . .

Benjamin Franklin shouldn’t need much of an introduction. Inventor, statesman, writer, publisher, economist, and one of the architects of our United States Constitution, Ben was one of our greatest Americans. His presence on our $100 bill is well justified.

Franklin related in his autobiography that he decided early in life to focus on arriving at moral perfection. I wouldn’t doubt that he soon discovered this was more easily said than done. Nonetheless, he fashioned a list of 13 virtues, assigning a page to each. Under each virtue he wrote a summary to gave it fuller meaning. He then practiced each for a certain amount of time.

In an ongoing effort to form each of virtues into a habit, Franklin graded himself on his daily actions, drawing a table with a row for every virtue and a column for every day of the week. For each error, he made a mark in the appropriate column. With each passing week, Franklin focused his attention on a different virtue, hoping that, through repetition over time, he would one day experience the pleasure of "viewing a clean Book."

Franklin conducted this experiment over a period of years. To do the work thoroughly, he decided to attempt each virtue and a quarter of its importance - one at a time. He began with temperance, which included the moderating of any pleasure or tendency to develop undesirable habits because temperance "tends to procure that coolness and clearance and head that is so necessary where constant vigilance is to be kept up and guard maintained against the unremitting attraction of ancient habits and the force of perpetual temptations."

Other virtues Franklin practiced were silence, order, resolution, frugality, industry, sincerity, Justice, moderation, cleanliness, tranquility, chastity and humility. It makes me wonder, in fact–since he was an extremely well studied man–whether he had studied the Apostle Paul who had his own list of virtues (love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faith, meekness, self-control).

Franklin added his attributes to a regimen he followed each day. From 5:00 to 7:00 each morning he spent in getting his exercise, saying a short prayer, thinking over the day’s business and resolutions, studying, and eating breakfast. From 8:00 to 12:00 he worked at his trade. 12:00 to 2:00 included his lunch period, and then he read and looked over his accounts. From 2:00 to 5:00 he worked at his trade. Then the rest of the evening he spent in music or diversion of some sort. Before his regular 10:00 bed time, Franklin set aside a little time to set things in place and examine his day.

At the age of 79, Franklin cited temperance; the acquisition of misfortune to industry and frugality; the confidence of his country to sincerity; and justice as reasons for his health and alertness. His extraordinary success in life and politics were the results of his perseverance in overcoming his personal liabilities, and his faithful, ongoing quest to become better.

In many ways, Ben Franklin serves as a role model for us today. If we really want to achieve something in our own lives, we should take time to focus on our own personal journals. What temptations and personal obstacles are standing in our way to greatness? What can we do to form the habit of becoming a success?

This would be a worthy thing to ponder, wouldn’t it?

The Crushing Weight of Chronic Stress . . .

Stress is a constant part of our lives. This time of people “running to and fro” and the crescendoing of knowledge has led to an increasingly stressful life. A little stress is good: it keeps our senses honed and our minds alert. Stress is important for achieving optimum performance.

Chronic (prolonged) stress, however, sabotages the body. It can block its natural ability to repair, regenerate, and protect itself.  It can lead to chronic disease, obesity, insomnia, deteriorating relationships, and depression, not to mention just making life miserable the sufferer.

Tension and anxiety caused by stress can be so powerful and harmful that it is vital to learn the proper methods for a peaceful, happy, and healthy life. We will always incur stressors, those inevitable factors that contribute toward tension and anxiety. However, conquering stress, overcoming tension and anxiety, is not accomplished necessarily by addressing the stressors, but by addressing our attitude towards them.

So then, we have arrived at the basic cause of stress: our attitude. How, then, can we effectively bring it under control, to conquer it? Anyone who is presently trapped under the weight of stress can affirm that this is more easily said than done.

Here is a basic truth: If you keep doing things as you have been doing them, your stress, along with its main ingredients, tension and anxiety, will not go away. It may change–likely get worse–but it will not go away.

If you really want to get yourself out from under it and feel free from the weight of the crushing tension and anxiety of stress, if you truly desire for the sun to come up in your life and see a sincerely radiant smile in your mirror, you will first go to my site on stress and pick up the free video with my Top Secret on Conquering Stress Today.

Here it is. Go there today: http://www.ConquerStressToday.info

Stress and Reframing . . .

One of the most important issues involved in stress (or almost any other mental/emotional issue) concerns defense mechanisms: how the mind automatically uses them to cope with stress and how they can be implemented to facilitate the ability to cope.

Defense mechanisms determine how the mind interprets stressors. Whether these tools are positive in effect depends on which mechanisms are used and how they are applied. The degree to which they dominate one's response to stressors is also an important consideration. Possibly the healthiest and most effective defense mechanism (perhaps more accurately termed as defense strategy) is the management of one's internal representation.

The most important factor in dealing with stress is an attitude toward change. Another term for this is reframing or, more specifically, context reframing. An example of this (appropriate for these economic times) would be the loss of a job, which would be viewed as an opportunity to step up in the future, as opposed to a viewing it as a serious setback. The meaning of the incident in the example is changed to reflect a more positive eventual result.

Another type of reframing, content reframing, is used to expose the true degree of severity of a problem. Indeed, we often look upon a problem as worse than it really is. An objective examination of the problem and working out a process to solve it can be a very calming procedure.

While it would be impossible to discuss this fully in the space provided here, I do go into it in far more depth in my Positive Personal Modification Therapy course. If you go to my website on stress, I provide a free video there, after which one can order a free 60-minute CD that is packed with information. Here's the link.

On The Ravages of Stress . . .

Types and degrees of stressful situations vary according to the differences of environment. Whether they involve severe situations (child abuse, harassment, divorce, rape) or superficially temporal experiences (traffic incidence, lover's spat, returned check), everyone experiences them. The number of psychological and physiological reactions from the same type of stressor can equal the number of the different types of situations themselves.

For instance, while one individual can apparently emerge unscathed, another could incur a phobia or an illness or impairment, such as ulcers or heart disease. The problem here, however, is that many of these symptoms do not show up until later in life . . . when it is too late. In that specific respect, it might be analogized to insurance: You want to address it before you need it. Yet that is where the analogy breaks down: Our bodies have less tolerance toward "pre-existing conditions" than do insurance underwriters.

Probably the most common mistake in one's attempt to cope with stress, however, is to address the situation rather than how it is viewed. A specific emotional reaction is less dependent on the type of stressful situation involved than on one's internal representation of what that situation means to him or her. While it remains important to alter or change when possible one's environment in such cases, it is even more vital that the counselor guide the stressor's victim toward the realization that his or her representation of the situation is the major cause of his or her anxiety, assuming, of course, that the situation itself is not currently imposing a significant physical threat.

It is, therefore, important to get tension and stress under control while there is time. Only two factors are involved here: (1) do it right and (2) just do it. If you need assistance in this, I have a website especially designed for it. Go to here for a free video, and I will help you today.

Breaking the Vicious Cycle of Stress . . .

When a situation is viewed as a threat, the body’s fight-or-flight syndrome is activated. More energy goes to the muscles and brain, to the exclusion of other organs. The body literally tears away at its inner structure to deal with the threat. For humans, the alarm system is called into play, and persists, when there is a psychological threat. One who allows this problem to hang on can cause rebalancing, the return to the normal relaxed state, not to occur.

How to Let Go
It takes a while to recover from a moment of terror. The same is true of experiencing a severely stressful event. But it can be done; here’s how:

1. Learn to sort out positive stress from that which can actually harm you. Some stress actually keeps you healthy. Positive stress is produced by experiences that are challenging, exciting, arousing or fun, or that which gives life purpose and meaning. Healthful stress is the body’s way of adapting to the constant changes of life.

2. Change your expectations. The difference between expectations and perception of reality is the measure of how much stress you will experience. If you begin the day with the attitude of "The world is changing, health is getting better, and nothing stays the same," and you truly believe that to be so, you will experience very little stress if it so happens that expectations are not met. Neither the environment nor your own performance will unreasonably displease you.

Note: Do not allow your expectations to exceed your perceptions of reality.

3. Do relaxation exercises. The purpose of these is to get the focus on a nonlogical part of the body. It is the constant logical planning and rumination that keeps stress going. The best nonlogical part to focus on is breathing. Proper breathing triggers other parts of the body to relax. The body is born with the innate ability to produce the opposite of the stress response.

Stop Unwanted Thoughts
The average person produces more than 200 negative thoughts a day—worries, jealousies, insecurities, cravings for forbidden things, etc. (Depressed people will have up to 600!) You can’t eliminate all the troublesome thoughts that go through your mind, but you can certainly reduce them, both in number and severity. Here’s how:

1. When a negative thought begins to surface in your mind, pause. Stop what you are doing for a few seconds. Do not say anything—talk will only reinforce the bad feeling.

2. Take five deep, slow breaths. By taking in more oxygen, you flush out your system and lower your level of anxiety. If you do this correctly, you will approach a meditative state.

3. Concentrate on a pleasant, relaxing scene—a walk throughout the mountains, for example. Take two to three minutes for a minor trouble, up to ten minutes for a serious upset.

Use this technique continually until the upsetting thoughts begin to decrease. Many things are beyond your control, but there are many things you can control. How you handle your thoughts is one of them. By paying more attention to what you can control will help you to lead a more productive life. In return you will have greater amounts of happiness, and live in better health.

Visit my site today to learn positively how to to release yourself forever from chronic stress.