For the majority of my life I have been concerned for other people's happiness and welfare. One of the most powerful, most destructive enemies of these states of existence is chronic stress.
Stress afflicts virtually everyone in our society in one form or another and to various degrees. Almost everything that happens in life is a potential cause of or an aggravating factor to stress. This is what intrigues me the most: that the need for help in this area is so ubiquitous in our society. Left unattended, severe stress can lead to serious consequences, which creates a critical need in those individuals. I feel a compulsion to do my part in fulfilling that need.
Virtually everyone has received some sort of treatment, therapy or other remedy to remove a physical pain, only to expose another previously undetected yet existent pain. So it is with the psych: A mind with one problem usually has many others. It seems to me that the only effective way to conduct therapy for virtually any purely psychological problem is to replace, renew, rebuild, or redirect the thought processes. This will usually eventually require an eclectic approach to treatment rather than being content with the solution of an isolated problem.
This represents a challenge to me–often a very difficult challenge. It is this that I relish, especially when I think of the results when I can reach a successful conclusion in a "project." That will mean one more person will have come closer to a life of joy and peace of mind. Toward this cause I have dedicated my life.
(Notes taken from "Stress and Coping" (1995) by Lora Morrow)
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Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
Things like this, I wouldn't wish on an enemy, if I had one . . .
Hi friends,
Well, I told you a little about the dental problems I was going through. It only got worse. It all started when I was getting a root canal and a bunch of other work. During the process, the dentist fractured a nearby tooth. So I was faced with getting another root canal.
During the second one, they discovered an infection, so they could not fill the hole where they did the work. They prescribed me an antibiotic and some pain medicine, and I was to return last Thursday . . . let see, that would have been August 26.
However, on that day they found the infection had only become worse, so they still could not fill the tooth. They prescribed both a stronger antibiotic and a stronger pain medicine. (I took very little of the pain medicine because I want to remain mentally alert to take care of my own business.)
Well, today they finally filled the tooth. But I assure you, last week was not a lot of fun.
Anyway, it's over now (I certainly hope). Sorry about the dearth of entries in here over the last few days. Tomorrow, I anticipate that you will have a brand new blog post to read. I look forward to talking with you again.
- Lora
Get your free CD on Conquering Stress Today! http://www.ConquerStressToday.info
Well, I told you a little about the dental problems I was going through. It only got worse. It all started when I was getting a root canal and a bunch of other work. During the process, the dentist fractured a nearby tooth. So I was faced with getting another root canal.
During the second one, they discovered an infection, so they could not fill the hole where they did the work. They prescribed me an antibiotic and some pain medicine, and I was to return last Thursday . . . let see, that would have been August 26.
However, on that day they found the infection had only become worse, so they still could not fill the tooth. They prescribed both a stronger antibiotic and a stronger pain medicine. (I took very little of the pain medicine because I want to remain mentally alert to take care of my own business.)
Well, today they finally filled the tooth. But I assure you, last week was not a lot of fun.
Anyway, it's over now (I certainly hope). Sorry about the dearth of entries in here over the last few days. Tomorrow, I anticipate that you will have a brand new blog post to read. I look forward to talking with you again.
- Lora
Get your free CD on Conquering Stress Today! http://www.ConquerStressToday.info
Friday, August 27, 2010
Lora Morrow, Where Have You Been?
Just wanted to enter a note of apology to those who have been reading my posts here. My dental problems lately have been severe and have caused me excruciating pain. I believe I have a high pain threshold, but this has been incredible at times. It just has been hard to do much.
In addition, I tried to get something done yesterday, but we had an ongoing series of thunderstorms throughout the day, so my computer was off and unplugged (can't afford a new one, if you get my drift).
I may or may not have a new post up today - I'm so far behind now that this is all I can promise. But I do hope to be back in the saddle next week and resume being the dependable Lora whom I hope you have come to know.
- lm
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In addition, I tried to get something done yesterday, but we had an ongoing series of thunderstorms throughout the day, so my computer was off and unplugged (can't afford a new one, if you get my drift).
I may or may not have a new post up today - I'm so far behind now that this is all I can promise. But I do hope to be back in the saddle next week and resume being the dependable Lora whom I hope you have come to know.
- lm
Get your free CD on Conquering Stress Today! http://www.ConquerStressToday.info
Monday, August 23, 2010
The Spirituality of Need
Interestingly, in psychological circles, "needs" are generally classified as physical. A need is any physical departure from the ideal value. The psychological result is a drive–an aroused state or urge that results from the need.
It would seem to me, however, that the classification of a basic need would depend on the context of its referral. In other words, are we referring to basic survival, or psychological or physiological health, or spiritual?
Many would take issue with this last item (spiritual), saying that it does not belong in psychology. One major psychological theorist, Abraham Maslow, however, seemed to have other ideas. Maslow took exception to how scientific issues have been "desacralized"–that is, all possibility of spiritual factors have been discounted and removed. This has, said Maslow, effectively "removed the emotion, joy, wonder awe, and rapture from their study in order to purify and objectify it"(1).
This is significant, coming from Maslow. His “Hierarchy of Needs” has become so legendary that it has set him up as a foremost authority in that area.
Yet it would seem that Maslow was somewhat remiss in his hierarchy in that he arranged these contexts in successive order, with the satisfaction of the more basic needs as prerequisites to the succeeding ones. He addressed hunger and thirst first, any other needs coming only after slaking them, which, taken generically, seems to reduce the human to the animalistic level. A pair of dogs will fight viciously over a bone, but would a balanced human sacrifice a true friendship for a meal?
Along the same lines, love is placed after safety. Yet what truly devoted parent would not throw him- or herself in front of a truck (figuratively or literally) to save his or her child? Of course, we could have a transference of need here, as it were, where the parent is now concerned with the safety of the child, but, in such a case, did not love precede that concern?
In this area, another theorist, Carl Rogers, would seem to have provided better general coverage since individual attitudes and approaches depend on "how we perceive and understand the world and ourselves"(2). Nonetheless, Maslow’s attention to detail picks up where Rogers leaves off.
I believe the most important inference that can be drawn from the works of Maslow and Rogers is the basic difference between animals and humans: that of the abstract levels of thought and behavior. The animal’s quest for satisfaction is generally species-specific (instinctual). The human, while having some of the same species-specific tendencies, must rely on more cognitive choices, or those that involve the processes of abstract thinking.
It is through making proper decisions that the human arrives at satisfying needs on all levels. Or, as my dear grandfather said, “Make the right choices, good things happen. Make the wrong choices, bad things happen. There is no gray area."
On the human level, it involves the ability to grasp hold of the concepts that make us what and who we are. Without this, our human needs, which transcend those of animals, will never be met. And this is where the spritual aspect comes in.
1. Maslow, A. H. (1970). Motivation and personality (2nd ed.). New York: Harper & Row, page 514.
2. Atkinson, R. L., Atkinson, R. C. , Smith, E. E., & Hilgard, E. R. (1987). Introduction to psychology (9th ed.). Orlando, FL: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, page 435.
(Taken from “Needs,” 2002, by Lora Morrow.)
Get your free CD on Conquering Stress Today! http://www.ConquerStressToday.info
It would seem to me, however, that the classification of a basic need would depend on the context of its referral. In other words, are we referring to basic survival, or psychological or physiological health, or spiritual?
Many would take issue with this last item (spiritual), saying that it does not belong in psychology. One major psychological theorist, Abraham Maslow, however, seemed to have other ideas. Maslow took exception to how scientific issues have been "desacralized"–that is, all possibility of spiritual factors have been discounted and removed. This has, said Maslow, effectively "removed the emotion, joy, wonder awe, and rapture from their study in order to purify and objectify it"(1).
This is significant, coming from Maslow. His “Hierarchy of Needs” has become so legendary that it has set him up as a foremost authority in that area.
Yet it would seem that Maslow was somewhat remiss in his hierarchy in that he arranged these contexts in successive order, with the satisfaction of the more basic needs as prerequisites to the succeeding ones. He addressed hunger and thirst first, any other needs coming only after slaking them, which, taken generically, seems to reduce the human to the animalistic level. A pair of dogs will fight viciously over a bone, but would a balanced human sacrifice a true friendship for a meal?
Along the same lines, love is placed after safety. Yet what truly devoted parent would not throw him- or herself in front of a truck (figuratively or literally) to save his or her child? Of course, we could have a transference of need here, as it were, where the parent is now concerned with the safety of the child, but, in such a case, did not love precede that concern?
In this area, another theorist, Carl Rogers, would seem to have provided better general coverage since individual attitudes and approaches depend on "how we perceive and understand the world and ourselves"(2). Nonetheless, Maslow’s attention to detail picks up where Rogers leaves off.
I believe the most important inference that can be drawn from the works of Maslow and Rogers is the basic difference between animals and humans: that of the abstract levels of thought and behavior. The animal’s quest for satisfaction is generally species-specific (instinctual). The human, while having some of the same species-specific tendencies, must rely on more cognitive choices, or those that involve the processes of abstract thinking.
It is through making proper decisions that the human arrives at satisfying needs on all levels. Or, as my dear grandfather said, “Make the right choices, good things happen. Make the wrong choices, bad things happen. There is no gray area."
On the human level, it involves the ability to grasp hold of the concepts that make us what and who we are. Without this, our human needs, which transcend those of animals, will never be met. And this is where the spritual aspect comes in.
1. Maslow, A. H. (1970). Motivation and personality (2nd ed.). New York: Harper & Row, page 514.
2. Atkinson, R. L., Atkinson, R. C. , Smith, E. E., & Hilgard, E. R. (1987). Introduction to psychology (9th ed.). Orlando, FL: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, page 435.
(Taken from “Needs,” 2002, by Lora Morrow.)
Get your free CD on Conquering Stress Today! http://www.ConquerStressToday.info
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Take Control of Your Personality . . .
You cannot make yourself taller, but you can develop a better personality. Personality involves the interaction of three factors: (1) habits, (2) traits, and (3) attitudes.
• A habit is something one does over and over again.
• A trait is a tendency to do something repeatedly in a similar way. For example, a person may have a trait of being untidy.
• An attitude is a way of looking at something—life, love, relationships.
For the same reason that habits, traits, and attitudes are learned and acquired, they can also be altered or eliminated. And undesirable habits can be unlearned.
To change for the better, you must be convinced beyond all doubt that you can change, that you can learn to become less hostile and aggressive—or shy—and to overcome emotional handicaps. This conviction must be your starting point in your self-improvement program.
You must want to change. Many individuals have no incentive to improve themselves only because they were born into a neurotic home and were exposed to the incompatibility of unhappy parents.
Or they feel trapped in an unhealthy illness. They take a "what’s the use" attitude. They have self-defeating personalities. You must want to change for your own sake, rather than for someone else. To use an extreme example for illustrative purposes, say, a woman refuses to go anywhere alone because she has epileptic seizures. While this woman uses her epilepsy as an excuse to hide away, she remains unhealthy and depressed.
Likewise, not to improve because you feel it won’t be appreciated by someone else is fatal to growth and progress. You must reward yourself through accomplishments. You must develop a sense of pride, a feeling of worthiness and self-satisfaction that enables you to face the future with increasing self-confidence.
No one can deny there is an advantage to having someone to encourage you, someone who loves you and has a genuine desire to help you make progress in life. Such an advantage will naturally make it easier for you to attain your individual goals in life.
Yet you do not necessarily need this outside encouragement to bring about self-improvement. Nothing can stand in your way if you are determined. What you must do is to concentrate on changing and improving yourself every single day.
You will be amazed at the ease with which you will transform your personality and become the kind of person you want to be if you put into practice the suggestions that have been given to you. The time to start is now!
Some Pointers That Will Make a Difference in Your Life:
• Make a list of affirmations, those that you want to change that apply to your inter-self. Repeat the affirmations twice daily, using the relaxation techniques in my Positive Personal Modification Therapy.
• Take time to breath deeply and relax. This may seem a repetition of above, but what I am saying here is to make time to do it.
• Pay close attention to the positive things in life.
• Put your heart and trust in everything you do. With this attitude, you will do at least one good deed each day.
Become the best that you can be. Reward yourself for the growth taking place in you. It is your dedication and your belief that is making this all possible. Be proud and happy for the life you have chosen to lead . . . with control.
(Taken from "Cultivating a New Personality," 2002, by Lora Morrow)
Get your free CD on Conquering Stress Today! http://www.ConquerStressToday.info
• A habit is something one does over and over again.
• A trait is a tendency to do something repeatedly in a similar way. For example, a person may have a trait of being untidy.
• An attitude is a way of looking at something—life, love, relationships.
For the same reason that habits, traits, and attitudes are learned and acquired, they can also be altered or eliminated. And undesirable habits can be unlearned.
To change for the better, you must be convinced beyond all doubt that you can change, that you can learn to become less hostile and aggressive—or shy—and to overcome emotional handicaps. This conviction must be your starting point in your self-improvement program.
You must want to change. Many individuals have no incentive to improve themselves only because they were born into a neurotic home and were exposed to the incompatibility of unhappy parents.
Or they feel trapped in an unhealthy illness. They take a "what’s the use" attitude. They have self-defeating personalities. You must want to change for your own sake, rather than for someone else. To use an extreme example for illustrative purposes, say, a woman refuses to go anywhere alone because she has epileptic seizures. While this woman uses her epilepsy as an excuse to hide away, she remains unhealthy and depressed.
Likewise, not to improve because you feel it won’t be appreciated by someone else is fatal to growth and progress. You must reward yourself through accomplishments. You must develop a sense of pride, a feeling of worthiness and self-satisfaction that enables you to face the future with increasing self-confidence.
No one can deny there is an advantage to having someone to encourage you, someone who loves you and has a genuine desire to help you make progress in life. Such an advantage will naturally make it easier for you to attain your individual goals in life.
Yet you do not necessarily need this outside encouragement to bring about self-improvement. Nothing can stand in your way if you are determined. What you must do is to concentrate on changing and improving yourself every single day.
You will be amazed at the ease with which you will transform your personality and become the kind of person you want to be if you put into practice the suggestions that have been given to you. The time to start is now!
Some Pointers That Will Make a Difference in Your Life:
• Make a list of affirmations, those that you want to change that apply to your inter-self. Repeat the affirmations twice daily, using the relaxation techniques in my Positive Personal Modification Therapy.
• Take time to breath deeply and relax. This may seem a repetition of above, but what I am saying here is to make time to do it.
• Pay close attention to the positive things in life.
• Put your heart and trust in everything you do. With this attitude, you will do at least one good deed each day.
Become the best that you can be. Reward yourself for the growth taking place in you. It is your dedication and your belief that is making this all possible. Be proud and happy for the life you have chosen to lead . . . with control.
(Taken from "Cultivating a New Personality," 2002, by Lora Morrow)
Get your free CD on Conquering Stress Today! http://www.ConquerStressToday.info
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Why Do We Have Problems?
Why are there so many problems in life? Why have so many things gone wrong? Believe it or not, we are supposed to have problems—life would not be normal without them!
Have you ever had the feeling that the reason you were born was for the purpose of being nature’s punching bag? This can be asked as a generic, rhetorical question because nearly, if not absolutely, everyone has had these thoughts at sometime in his or her life, probably more than once. But this is not so; in fact, it is one of the excuses we can catch ourselves repeating to ourselves.
Take a look around you. Look at the people driving their cars up and down the streets. Look at the homes in your neighborhood and imagine the people residing in them, at the shoppers in the stores and others at work there and in other workplaces. What are they doing? Of course, if the answer involves their tasks at hand, a different answer can be offered for each individual.
Yet the true answer can be conveyed in one simple statement: All these people and all others—whatever their tasks at hand—are solving problems.
Think about it. Nearly everything you do—every simple chore, or even unconscious move you make—is to solve a problem.
You pick up milk at the local convenience store. Problem: You are about to run out of milk at home, which means no cereal, no milk for the kids to drink with their afternoon snack, and whatever else you use it for. You pick up a pen to write. Problem: the pen is not in your hand in the position to perform that function.
This is the point: Whatever you choose to do in life, wherever you go, in whatever circumstances you find yourself, you where born to solve problems.
Only the strong survive. What does it take to be strong? A heart that will not quit? A strong constitution? Certainly, those factors can help. But in these days of relentless emotional and psychological pressures- when stress is blamed for every malady from chronic depression to cancer, - there emerge some new strength factors. Once you have come to the conclusion that problems are not bad and view them as challenges, then you are in control.
You need to believe in yourself. Worry and self-criticism are mentally fatiguing. Give yourself pep talks, and make sure you are satisfied with your live and actions. Reflect on your mission in life. Who and what are most important to you? When you have a strong sense of inner direction, you will bring more energy to everything you do. Change can do the body some good. To unlearn the constrained way of living your life...and to expose yourself to variety, stimulating alternatives and change. Being able to focus on the positive aspects of change- the opportunities and fresh energy that result from change.
You can overcome many defeating problems by concentrating on the present rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. The present is the only moment during which you can experience happiness-or misery- and the only moment which you have any control. It is important to understand that feelings are reactions over which you have control. You choose your thoughts, and you are the sum total of these choices. You need to take charge of your emotions by choosing the thoughts to which you react.
Oh, and one more thing: I am going to be so presumptuous here as to suggest that heartfelt prayer can work wonders in these situations . . .
Get your free CD on Conquering Stress Today! http://www.ConquerStressToday.info
Have you ever had the feeling that the reason you were born was for the purpose of being nature’s punching bag? This can be asked as a generic, rhetorical question because nearly, if not absolutely, everyone has had these thoughts at sometime in his or her life, probably more than once. But this is not so; in fact, it is one of the excuses we can catch ourselves repeating to ourselves.
Take a look around you. Look at the people driving their cars up and down the streets. Look at the homes in your neighborhood and imagine the people residing in them, at the shoppers in the stores and others at work there and in other workplaces. What are they doing? Of course, if the answer involves their tasks at hand, a different answer can be offered for each individual.
Yet the true answer can be conveyed in one simple statement: All these people and all others—whatever their tasks at hand—are solving problems.
Think about it. Nearly everything you do—every simple chore, or even unconscious move you make—is to solve a problem.
You pick up milk at the local convenience store. Problem: You are about to run out of milk at home, which means no cereal, no milk for the kids to drink with their afternoon snack, and whatever else you use it for. You pick up a pen to write. Problem: the pen is not in your hand in the position to perform that function.
This is the point: Whatever you choose to do in life, wherever you go, in whatever circumstances you find yourself, you where born to solve problems.
Only the strong survive. What does it take to be strong? A heart that will not quit? A strong constitution? Certainly, those factors can help. But in these days of relentless emotional and psychological pressures- when stress is blamed for every malady from chronic depression to cancer, - there emerge some new strength factors. Once you have come to the conclusion that problems are not bad and view them as challenges, then you are in control.
You need to believe in yourself. Worry and self-criticism are mentally fatiguing. Give yourself pep talks, and make sure you are satisfied with your live and actions. Reflect on your mission in life. Who and what are most important to you? When you have a strong sense of inner direction, you will bring more energy to everything you do. Change can do the body some good. To unlearn the constrained way of living your life...and to expose yourself to variety, stimulating alternatives and change. Being able to focus on the positive aspects of change- the opportunities and fresh energy that result from change.
You can overcome many defeating problems by concentrating on the present rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. The present is the only moment during which you can experience happiness-or misery- and the only moment which you have any control. It is important to understand that feelings are reactions over which you have control. You choose your thoughts, and you are the sum total of these choices. You need to take charge of your emotions by choosing the thoughts to which you react.
Oh, and one more thing: I am going to be so presumptuous here as to suggest that heartfelt prayer can work wonders in these situations . . .
Get your free CD on Conquering Stress Today! http://www.ConquerStressToday.info
Friday, August 13, 2010
Cultivate Your Higher Self . . .
You can overcome self-defeating behavior by concentrating on the present rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. The present is the only moment during which you can experience happiness—or misery—and the only moment over which you have any control.
The higher self promotes the feeling of peace. The higher self wants you to enjoy rather than strive endlessly . . . to relate honestly with others . . . to feel connected by love, rather than separated by fear. By listening to your higher self, you will have more power: You will be free to choose intelligently and to see more confidently.
Four Steps to Higher Self
1) Shut down your inner dialogue. It has been estimated that we think 60,000 thoughts each day. The trouble is, most of them are pretty much the same thoughts we had yesterday. Just below this constant stream of chatter in your brain is a space of calm and quiet. You don’t have to go into a cave and meditate to connect with this quiet space. You can do it anywhere.
* Strategy: Take a moment of silence—a break from this barrage of thoughts. As my long-time clients already know, adding a few deep breaths can work wonders.
* Ideal: Most effective would be to take a ten-minute walk if you can. Here is a key: While walking, cast your eyes upward. If it is a clear day, and let them soak in the deep, peaceful blue of the sky God gave us. As calm returns, you will again become aware of the thoughts as they pass through your mind, and the space between the thoughts. Your pulse will slow, your blood pressure will drop. You will feel relaxed and will begin to take charge of your emotions.
2) Banish your doubts. To eliminate doubt, recognize the difference between what you believe and what you know–that is, between beliefs and knowledge.
* Beliefs: These are opinions handed to you by other people or by assumptions you make from events in your environment. It is important to realize that, whatever your objective in life, these beliefs, without substantial support from the facts, won’t get you there. Such a belief is a guess, and there is doubt associated with a guess because it comes from outside you.
* Knowledge: This is the opposite of doubt. What you know comes from within. That is, it comes from your direct experience. Some knowledge, of course, has to come from other sources. But much of the knowledge about yourself comes from yourself.
3) Cultivate the witness in you. There are two people living within you: (1) one who thinks, moves and acts, and (2) an innermost self that just observes, allowing you to study yourself objectively.
* Strategy: Learn to step outside yourself by using visualization. Instead of being completely absorbed in everything that is happening to you, try to cultivate the part of you that stands a little apart from the rest of you.
4) Tame your ego. By taming your ego, you will experience that higher self that deserves love, and good health. With nothing to prove, you won’t particularly need approval.
* Strategies: Work at not being offended and allow other people to be who they actually are. Strive for tolerance rather than dominance, and you will be in peace rather than turmoil. Practice the highest level of heightened awareness—being independent of the good opinion of other people.
When you have the choice between being right or being kind, always pause long enough to judge whether it would be better to be kind. Letting go of your need to be accepted, and of the tendency to judge others for not knowing, can dramatically transform your well being.
Happiness is possible only if you take charge of your inner feelings and evict your negative thoughts to make room for positive thoughts. Only then will you add to your peace of mind.
Get your free CD on Conquering Stress Today! http://www.ConquerStressToday.info
The higher self promotes the feeling of peace. The higher self wants you to enjoy rather than strive endlessly . . . to relate honestly with others . . . to feel connected by love, rather than separated by fear. By listening to your higher self, you will have more power: You will be free to choose intelligently and to see more confidently.
Four Steps to Higher Self
1) Shut down your inner dialogue. It has been estimated that we think 60,000 thoughts each day. The trouble is, most of them are pretty much the same thoughts we had yesterday. Just below this constant stream of chatter in your brain is a space of calm and quiet. You don’t have to go into a cave and meditate to connect with this quiet space. You can do it anywhere.
* Strategy: Take a moment of silence—a break from this barrage of thoughts. As my long-time clients already know, adding a few deep breaths can work wonders.
* Ideal: Most effective would be to take a ten-minute walk if you can. Here is a key: While walking, cast your eyes upward. If it is a clear day, and let them soak in the deep, peaceful blue of the sky God gave us. As calm returns, you will again become aware of the thoughts as they pass through your mind, and the space between the thoughts. Your pulse will slow, your blood pressure will drop. You will feel relaxed and will begin to take charge of your emotions.
2) Banish your doubts. To eliminate doubt, recognize the difference between what you believe and what you know–that is, between beliefs and knowledge.
* Beliefs: These are opinions handed to you by other people or by assumptions you make from events in your environment. It is important to realize that, whatever your objective in life, these beliefs, without substantial support from the facts, won’t get you there. Such a belief is a guess, and there is doubt associated with a guess because it comes from outside you.
* Knowledge: This is the opposite of doubt. What you know comes from within. That is, it comes from your direct experience. Some knowledge, of course, has to come from other sources. But much of the knowledge about yourself comes from yourself.
3) Cultivate the witness in you. There are two people living within you: (1) one who thinks, moves and acts, and (2) an innermost self that just observes, allowing you to study yourself objectively.
* Strategy: Learn to step outside yourself by using visualization. Instead of being completely absorbed in everything that is happening to you, try to cultivate the part of you that stands a little apart from the rest of you.
4) Tame your ego. By taming your ego, you will experience that higher self that deserves love, and good health. With nothing to prove, you won’t particularly need approval.
* Strategies: Work at not being offended and allow other people to be who they actually are. Strive for tolerance rather than dominance, and you will be in peace rather than turmoil. Practice the highest level of heightened awareness—being independent of the good opinion of other people.
When you have the choice between being right or being kind, always pause long enough to judge whether it would be better to be kind. Letting go of your need to be accepted, and of the tendency to judge others for not knowing, can dramatically transform your well being.
Happiness is possible only if you take charge of your inner feelings and evict your negative thoughts to make room for positive thoughts. Only then will you add to your peace of mind.
Get your free CD on Conquering Stress Today! http://www.ConquerStressToday.info
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Honesty and the Power of Prosperity: Random Notes
We have power within us that is capable of bringing our fondest dreams to reality and providing enormous wealth. The problem is, we are not open to receiving it. If we want something, our subconscious mind does not say, "I’ll think about it." It readily responds and sends it through, and we have to be ready for it. If we aren’t, it goes back into the storehouse of unfulfilled desires.
Many clients have come to see me, only to sit with their arms folded across their bodies. I think, "How are they going to let anything in?" It is a wonderful symbolic gesture to open our arms wide so the universe notices and responds. For some, this is very scary because if they open themselves up they think terrible things will happen; and they probably will, until they change whatever is inside them that attracts all their doom and gloom.
Accepting Prosperity
When we use the term prosperity, many people immediately think of money. However, there are other concepts of prosperity: for example, time, love, success, comfort, the beauty from within, knowledge, relationships, and good health.
If you are feeling rushed because there is not enough time to do everything you want, then you have lack of time. If you feel that success is beyond your reach, then you are not going to get it. If you feel life is burdensome, then you will always feel uncomfortable. If you feel a lack of love and have poor relationships, then it will be difficult for you to attract love into your life.
None of the above has anything to do with receiving. So many think, oh I want to get this or that. But abundance and prosperity is about allowing yourself to accept. When you are not getting what you want, on some level you are not allowing yourself to accept it. If we steal from life, life will steal from us.
Being Honest With Ourselves
How often do we hear the word honesty? How many understand the true significance of what it means to be honest? Honesty is an act of love toward ourselves.
The main value of honesty is that whatever we give out in life we will get back. The law of cause and effect is always operating on all levels. If we belittle or judge others, then we, too, are judged. If we are always angry, then we encounter anger wherever we go. The love we have for ourselves keeps us in tune with the love life has for us.
For instance, imagine that you applied for a job you really wanted and did not get it. Does it make you feel like a victim? Certain questions would probably arise: Why wasn’t I hired? Who did this to me? It is a bad feeling when something like that happens. But do you stop to think how and why you may have attracted such an experience?
Taking responsibility for creating our own experiences is not an idea that many of us accept all the time, and, for some of us, not even some of the time. It is so much easier to blame something outside ourselves, yet our spiritual growth cannot occur until we recognize that there is little of value outside of us in this area—everything must come from within.
Negative beliefs are not the truth of our being. We are magnificent creations of God, and we have the right to earn the very best, and we were given an abundantly plentiful planet on which to do it.
Our good always comes to us by the right of consciousness—making the right choices and implementing them. The work we do in consciousness is always one of refining what we say, think, and do. When we clearly understand that our thoughts create our reality, then we use our reality as feedback mechanism to let us know what we need to change next.
This is what is meant by being honest. Being absolutely honest, down to the last paper clip, is a choice we make out of love for ourselves because honesty helps to make our lives run more smoothly and more easily.
Get your free CD on Conquering Stress Today! http://www.ConquerStressToday.info
Many clients have come to see me, only to sit with their arms folded across their bodies. I think, "How are they going to let anything in?" It is a wonderful symbolic gesture to open our arms wide so the universe notices and responds. For some, this is very scary because if they open themselves up they think terrible things will happen; and they probably will, until they change whatever is inside them that attracts all their doom and gloom.
Accepting Prosperity
When we use the term prosperity, many people immediately think of money. However, there are other concepts of prosperity: for example, time, love, success, comfort, the beauty from within, knowledge, relationships, and good health.
If you are feeling rushed because there is not enough time to do everything you want, then you have lack of time. If you feel that success is beyond your reach, then you are not going to get it. If you feel life is burdensome, then you will always feel uncomfortable. If you feel a lack of love and have poor relationships, then it will be difficult for you to attract love into your life.
None of the above has anything to do with receiving. So many think, oh I want to get this or that. But abundance and prosperity is about allowing yourself to accept. When you are not getting what you want, on some level you are not allowing yourself to accept it. If we steal from life, life will steal from us.
Being Honest With Ourselves
How often do we hear the word honesty? How many understand the true significance of what it means to be honest? Honesty is an act of love toward ourselves.
The main value of honesty is that whatever we give out in life we will get back. The law of cause and effect is always operating on all levels. If we belittle or judge others, then we, too, are judged. If we are always angry, then we encounter anger wherever we go. The love we have for ourselves keeps us in tune with the love life has for us.
For instance, imagine that you applied for a job you really wanted and did not get it. Does it make you feel like a victim? Certain questions would probably arise: Why wasn’t I hired? Who did this to me? It is a bad feeling when something like that happens. But do you stop to think how and why you may have attracted such an experience?
Taking responsibility for creating our own experiences is not an idea that many of us accept all the time, and, for some of us, not even some of the time. It is so much easier to blame something outside ourselves, yet our spiritual growth cannot occur until we recognize that there is little of value outside of us in this area—everything must come from within.
Negative beliefs are not the truth of our being. We are magnificent creations of God, and we have the right to earn the very best, and we were given an abundantly plentiful planet on which to do it.
Our good always comes to us by the right of consciousness—making the right choices and implementing them. The work we do in consciousness is always one of refining what we say, think, and do. When we clearly understand that our thoughts create our reality, then we use our reality as feedback mechanism to let us know what we need to change next.
This is what is meant by being honest. Being absolutely honest, down to the last paper clip, is a choice we make out of love for ourselves because honesty helps to make our lives run more smoothly and more easily.
Get your free CD on Conquering Stress Today! http://www.ConquerStressToday.info
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
The Critical Need for Oral Hygiene . . .
I apologize to my followers for the absence of posts these last few days. Ironically, I have been going through some dental problems and subsequent treatments, which actually incited this one.
~~~~~
Most of us know that it is important to get a yearly medical check up. However, many neglect to do this. It may be due to fear, the expense, or lack of time. Whatever the excuse, a lot of things are happening in our bodies that go undetected. The more time it lingers on, the more difficult, and time consuming it can become to take care of it.
We might think, and or feel the importance of that doctors visit, or test but we procrastinate to get in there and do it.
Oral hygiene is even worse. Most don't even think about getting one's dental work updated as we should. A small percentage of us realize how much our oral hygiene plays on the rest of our bodies. There are gum diseases, not just gingivitis but periodontitis. Conditions such as heart disease, respiratory disease, stroke, and diabetes are associated with systemic periodontitis. The scary thing is that most don't even know they have such a disease.
Going to the dentist can be costly, and few have adequate insurance in this area. But it can save your life, or at least get to a health issue before becoming chronic. Without good health, what else is left?
By having your mouth checked, you might even eliminate many other factors that might contribute to allergies, and migraines. This might even improve results in the treatments one might be going through for many other illnesses.
Think about it . . .
Get your free CD on Conquering Stress Today! http://www.ConquerStressToday.info
~~~~~
Most of us know that it is important to get a yearly medical check up. However, many neglect to do this. It may be due to fear, the expense, or lack of time. Whatever the excuse, a lot of things are happening in our bodies that go undetected. The more time it lingers on, the more difficult, and time consuming it can become to take care of it.
We might think, and or feel the importance of that doctors visit, or test but we procrastinate to get in there and do it.
Oral hygiene is even worse. Most don't even think about getting one's dental work updated as we should. A small percentage of us realize how much our oral hygiene plays on the rest of our bodies. There are gum diseases, not just gingivitis but periodontitis. Conditions such as heart disease, respiratory disease, stroke, and diabetes are associated with systemic periodontitis. The scary thing is that most don't even know they have such a disease.
Going to the dentist can be costly, and few have adequate insurance in this area. But it can save your life, or at least get to a health issue before becoming chronic. Without good health, what else is left?
By having your mouth checked, you might even eliminate many other factors that might contribute to allergies, and migraines. This might even improve results in the treatments one might be going through for many other illnesses.
Think about it . . .
Get your free CD on Conquering Stress Today! http://www.ConquerStressToday.info
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Shame and Anxiety Are Entwined
Shame is a sense of deficit in the self. Feelings of shame and humiliation are emotional states that require considerable self-evaluation. All these processes concern our social nature. We can distinguish between an aggressive social tendency, in which an individual, in striving to achieve his aims, is not concerned about damaging other people (and indeed may tend to damage others); and an adoptive social tendency, in which the individual may seek the approval of and partnership with others.
Humans project various images of themselves, depending what is most useful in particular circumstances, and for whom those images are intended. An image of appeasement and nonaggression toward a possible partner in the act of courtship may be combined with an aggressive or combative image when in the face of a rival or when it is important to mark one’s territory. Within certain limits, the representation of shame, therefore, comes to be a means of communicating an image that influences relations with others.
Shame is about the self, which is the self only by virtue of confirmation, recognition, affirmation, and perhaps empathic understanding from others. The self-conscious awareness that selfhood is contingent on other people’s opinions and the possibility of failure or rejection gives rise to shame.
Shame (and guilt, which may or may not be synonomous) is a state of anxiety. There is a fundamental difference between ordinary emotion and the state of anxiety. While emotions generically supports intellectual activity, anxiety erodes it. Through the environment and our interpretation of it, we create our world in our image of ourselves and ourselves in that image of our world. But the images we create are never completely secure: Anxiety is both a sign and a result of emotional collapse.
Get your free CD on Conquering Stress Today! http://www.ConquerStressToday.info
Humans project various images of themselves, depending what is most useful in particular circumstances, and for whom those images are intended. An image of appeasement and nonaggression toward a possible partner in the act of courtship may be combined with an aggressive or combative image when in the face of a rival or when it is important to mark one’s territory. Within certain limits, the representation of shame, therefore, comes to be a means of communicating an image that influences relations with others.
Shame is about the self, which is the self only by virtue of confirmation, recognition, affirmation, and perhaps empathic understanding from others. The self-conscious awareness that selfhood is contingent on other people’s opinions and the possibility of failure or rejection gives rise to shame.
Shame (and guilt, which may or may not be synonomous) is a state of anxiety. There is a fundamental difference between ordinary emotion and the state of anxiety. While emotions generically supports intellectual activity, anxiety erodes it. Through the environment and our interpretation of it, we create our world in our image of ourselves and ourselves in that image of our world. But the images we create are never completely secure: Anxiety is both a sign and a result of emotional collapse.
Get your free CD on Conquering Stress Today! http://www.ConquerStressToday.info
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