A medical patient’s attitude is so important to surgeons that many of them will delay a major operation until they become convinced that the patient is reasonably optimistic about the outcome. A negative attitude, coming from the sense of helplessness, in its most severe forms, can lead to tragic consequences. There have been many cases of "unexplained" deaths of people who believed themselves in hopeless circumstances.
The placebo effect can work in the reverse. In some cases, for example, persons have died after ingesting toxic substances that were otherwise often too small even to make them sick. In addition, numerous studies have shown a marked correspondence between increased health problems and the amount of stress from multiple life changes (for example, unemployment, relocation, bereavement, divorce, death in the family). Such health effects are much more prominent among persons already having low self-esteem.
What is surprising is that dramatic events even on the good side can have harmful effects on people not expecting them, What can overtax a body's defensive resources, then, is the amount of adjustment following change, or the interpretation of stressors, or environmental or internal factors that aggravate stress levels within an individual.
The point is that patient does not always have a realistic grasp in the actual physical condition. Therefore, one's perception can actually be altered by one's belief system.
Without the proper concept of reality, effective treatment may become difficult. As I mentioned, this means the proper optimism as well as overcoming any denial. Because I believe that stress, or more properly the interpretation of stressors, is the most influential factor on health, the patient must master these techniques before going on to others. The others, then, will be addressed accordingly, such as deciding on a purpose in life, educating oneself in the disease that afflicts, diet, etc.
Get your free CD on Conquering Stress Today! http://www.ConquerStressToday.info
Friday, July 30, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Chronic Illness and Stress
Studies have shown that patients with chronic illnesses as a group experience worse social and physical functioning and poorer mental health than those who do not have chronic illnesses. Medical treatment itself can be disrupted as the patient’s frustration and feelings of hopelessness induce doubt toward the health care providers and resistance toward treatment regimens.
Anxieties resulting from chronic illnesses are largely products of automatic thoughts. They are not necessarily conscious thoughts of which the patient is aware. These thoughts involve how the patient is thinking toward the illness or pain itself, how he should respond to it, and toward the patient’s anticipation of how others view him. The most common thoughts can include denial, resignation, panic, rebellion, and feelings of being a social outcast.
The nature of anxiety can vary with the age of the patient. For instance, teenagers deal with such the treatment will affect their appearance and athletic abilities. They also face issues of real or perceived dependence and relationships with peers.
Adults, conversely, are more affected by their present self-esteem and understanding of their strengths and weaknesses, as well as their sense of control over their own destinies.
Different forms of illnesses can cause varying types of anxieties, especially involving causes. For instance, while sickle cell anemia is inherited and the cause of Crohn’s disease is largely unknown, three of the four top causes of HIV are based on behaviors. According to The American Medical Association Encyclopedia of Medicine, these four, in order of occurrence, are (1) male homosexual activity, (2) needle sharing by drug abusers, (3) receiving infected blood or blood product transfusions, and (4) male to female sexual transmission.
The first two listed (sickle cell and Crohn’s), then, would cause anxieties such as those already mentioned, but HIV patients may incur added anxieties from anger toward whoever passed it to them and possibly toward themselves for not implementing greater self-protection.
The patient’s environment bears so much impact on the patient’s mental state that it cannot be ignored in addressing his anxiety. Family members may also experience such emotions as guilt, anger, sadness, fear, as well as anxiety and depression. Moreover, the patient’s own view of his problems may differ according to his specific environment.
This can create vicious cyles: that is, the illness can aggravate the patient’s stress, and then the stress aggravates the illness. In addition, those involved in the patient’s life are also affected, and their reactions in turn fuel the anxieties in the patient.
There is hope, but it seldom can be found by just “dealing with it.” That sort of approach is addressing only the symptoms–and the stress and anxiety themselves are only symptoms, not causes. The need for professional help in such cases is almost certain. But without aggressively addressing it, the stress and anxiety accompanying the illness will almost certainly continue.
Start by getting my free CD on Conquering Stress Today. This will give you a head start on the decisions you need to make. Just go to http://www.ConquerStressToday.info
Anxieties resulting from chronic illnesses are largely products of automatic thoughts. They are not necessarily conscious thoughts of which the patient is aware. These thoughts involve how the patient is thinking toward the illness or pain itself, how he should respond to it, and toward the patient’s anticipation of how others view him. The most common thoughts can include denial, resignation, panic, rebellion, and feelings of being a social outcast.
The nature of anxiety can vary with the age of the patient. For instance, teenagers deal with such the treatment will affect their appearance and athletic abilities. They also face issues of real or perceived dependence and relationships with peers.
Adults, conversely, are more affected by their present self-esteem and understanding of their strengths and weaknesses, as well as their sense of control over their own destinies.
Different forms of illnesses can cause varying types of anxieties, especially involving causes. For instance, while sickle cell anemia is inherited and the cause of Crohn’s disease is largely unknown, three of the four top causes of HIV are based on behaviors. According to The American Medical Association Encyclopedia of Medicine, these four, in order of occurrence, are (1) male homosexual activity, (2) needle sharing by drug abusers, (3) receiving infected blood or blood product transfusions, and (4) male to female sexual transmission.
The first two listed (sickle cell and Crohn’s), then, would cause anxieties such as those already mentioned, but HIV patients may incur added anxieties from anger toward whoever passed it to them and possibly toward themselves for not implementing greater self-protection.
The patient’s environment bears so much impact on the patient’s mental state that it cannot be ignored in addressing his anxiety. Family members may also experience such emotions as guilt, anger, sadness, fear, as well as anxiety and depression. Moreover, the patient’s own view of his problems may differ according to his specific environment.
This can create vicious cyles: that is, the illness can aggravate the patient’s stress, and then the stress aggravates the illness. In addition, those involved in the patient’s life are also affected, and their reactions in turn fuel the anxieties in the patient.
There is hope, but it seldom can be found by just “dealing with it.” That sort of approach is addressing only the symptoms–and the stress and anxiety themselves are only symptoms, not causes. The need for professional help in such cases is almost certain. But without aggressively addressing it, the stress and anxiety accompanying the illness will almost certainly continue.
Start by getting my free CD on Conquering Stress Today. This will give you a head start on the decisions you need to make. Just go to http://www.ConquerStressToday.info
Monday, July 26, 2010
I found the following in the Disability Etiquette Handbook, published by The Baltimore County Commission on Disabilities. I hope they don't mind my posting it here, but I don't know how I could improve upon it:
People with disabilities face many barriers every day–from physical obstacles in buildings to systemic barriers in employment and civic programs. Yet, often, the most difficult barriers to overcome are attitudes other people carry regarding people with disabilities. Whether born from ignorance, fear, misunderstanding or hate, these attitudes keep people from appreciating–and experiencing–the full potential a person with a disability can achieve.
The most pervasive negative attitude is focusing on a person's disability rather than on an individual's abilities. A lawyer is effective if he or she has a solid grasp of law and can effectively advocate for his or her client; that the lawyer accesses law books through a Kurzweil reader because he or she is blind is immaterial to his or her ability to do a thorough job.
A rancher is effective if she or he feeds the cattle and mends the fences; that the rancher with paraplegia operates a cattle feeder system in the bed of a truck via a rod from the cab or rides an all-terrain vehicle to reach fences is immaterial to the job skill. A stocker in a factory is effective if he or she packages the proper number of items in each bin; that the stocker, because of a developmental disability that limits attention span, uses a counting device, is not only immaterial to the job skill, but can make–and has made–that person the most accurate stocker on the factory floor.
People with disabilities encounter many different forms of attitudinal barriers.
Inferiority: Because a person may be impaired in one of life's major functions, some people believe that that individual is a "second-class citizen." However, most people with disabilities have skills that make them valued employees.
Pity: People feel sorry for the person with a disability, who is considered a "victim." This tends to lead to patronizing attitudes. People with disabilities generally don't want pity and charity, just equal opportunity to earn their own way and live independently.
Hero worship: People sometimes consider someone with a disability to be brave or "special" for overcoming a disability. Sometimes the person with a disability is seen as "an inspiration" for the ways they live or work, in spite of the disability. But most people with disabilities do not want accolades for performing day-to-day tasks. The individual has simply learned to adapt by using his or her skills and knowledge, just as everybody adapts to obstacles to successful living and working.
Ignorance: People with disabilities are often dismissed as incapable of accomplishing a task without the opportunity to display their skills. Many people are not aware of what people with disabilities can do. People with disabilities can drive cars, work at jobs, and have families. People who are blind can tell time on a watch and visit museums. People who are deaf can play baseball and enjoy music. People with developmental disabilities can be creative and maintain strong work ethics.
The Spread Effect: People assume that an individual's disability negatively affects other senses, abilities or personality traits, or that the total person is impaired. For example, many people shout at people who are blind or don't expect people using wheelchairs to have the intelligence to speak for themselves. Focusing on the person's abilities rather than his or her disability counters this type of prejudice.
Stereotypes: The other side of the spread effect is the positive and negative generalizations people form about disabilities. For example, many believe that all people who are blind are great musicians or have a keener sense of smell and hearing, that all people who use wheelchairs are docile or compete in paralympics, that all people with developmental disabilities are innocent and sweet-natured, that all people with disabilities are sad and bitter. Aside from diminishing the individual and his or her abilities, such prejudice can set too high or too low a standard for individuals who are merely human.
Backlash: Many people believe individuals with disabilities are given unfair advantages, such as easier work requirements. Employers need to hold people with disabilities to the same job standards as co- workers, though the means of accomplishing those standards may differ from person to person. The Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) does not require special privileges for people with disabilities, just equal opportunities.
Denial: Many disabilities are "hidden," such as learning disabilities, psychiatric disabilities, epilepsy, cancer, arthritis and heart conditions. Some people tend to believe that these are not bona fide disabilities needing accommodation. The ADA defines "disability" as an impairment that "substantially limits one or more of the major life activities." Accommodating "hidden" disabilities which meet the above definition can keep valued employees on the job and open doors for new employees.
Fear: Many people are afraid that they will "do or say the wrong thing" around someone with a disability. They therefore avert their own discomfort by avoiding the individual with a disability. As with becoming more comfortable with people from other cultures, frequent encounters can raise the comfort level.
Breaking Down Barriers: Unlike physical and systematic barriers, attitudinal barriers that often lead to illegal discrimination cannot be overcome simply through laws. The best remedy is familiarity, encouraging people with and without disabilities to relate to each other as co-workers, associates and social acquaintances. In time, most of the attitudes will give way to comfort, respect and friendship.
-----
Get your free CD on Conquering Stress Today! http://www.ConquerStressToday.info
People with disabilities face many barriers every day–from physical obstacles in buildings to systemic barriers in employment and civic programs. Yet, often, the most difficult barriers to overcome are attitudes other people carry regarding people with disabilities. Whether born from ignorance, fear, misunderstanding or hate, these attitudes keep people from appreciating–and experiencing–the full potential a person with a disability can achieve.
The most pervasive negative attitude is focusing on a person's disability rather than on an individual's abilities. A lawyer is effective if he or she has a solid grasp of law and can effectively advocate for his or her client; that the lawyer accesses law books through a Kurzweil reader because he or she is blind is immaterial to his or her ability to do a thorough job.
A rancher is effective if she or he feeds the cattle and mends the fences; that the rancher with paraplegia operates a cattle feeder system in the bed of a truck via a rod from the cab or rides an all-terrain vehicle to reach fences is immaterial to the job skill. A stocker in a factory is effective if he or she packages the proper number of items in each bin; that the stocker, because of a developmental disability that limits attention span, uses a counting device, is not only immaterial to the job skill, but can make–and has made–that person the most accurate stocker on the factory floor.
People with disabilities encounter many different forms of attitudinal barriers.
Inferiority: Because a person may be impaired in one of life's major functions, some people believe that that individual is a "second-class citizen." However, most people with disabilities have skills that make them valued employees.
Pity: People feel sorry for the person with a disability, who is considered a "victim." This tends to lead to patronizing attitudes. People with disabilities generally don't want pity and charity, just equal opportunity to earn their own way and live independently.
Hero worship: People sometimes consider someone with a disability to be brave or "special" for overcoming a disability. Sometimes the person with a disability is seen as "an inspiration" for the ways they live or work, in spite of the disability. But most people with disabilities do not want accolades for performing day-to-day tasks. The individual has simply learned to adapt by using his or her skills and knowledge, just as everybody adapts to obstacles to successful living and working.
Ignorance: People with disabilities are often dismissed as incapable of accomplishing a task without the opportunity to display their skills. Many people are not aware of what people with disabilities can do. People with disabilities can drive cars, work at jobs, and have families. People who are blind can tell time on a watch and visit museums. People who are deaf can play baseball and enjoy music. People with developmental disabilities can be creative and maintain strong work ethics.
The Spread Effect: People assume that an individual's disability negatively affects other senses, abilities or personality traits, or that the total person is impaired. For example, many people shout at people who are blind or don't expect people using wheelchairs to have the intelligence to speak for themselves. Focusing on the person's abilities rather than his or her disability counters this type of prejudice.
Stereotypes: The other side of the spread effect is the positive and negative generalizations people form about disabilities. For example, many believe that all people who are blind are great musicians or have a keener sense of smell and hearing, that all people who use wheelchairs are docile or compete in paralympics, that all people with developmental disabilities are innocent and sweet-natured, that all people with disabilities are sad and bitter. Aside from diminishing the individual and his or her abilities, such prejudice can set too high or too low a standard for individuals who are merely human.
Backlash: Many people believe individuals with disabilities are given unfair advantages, such as easier work requirements. Employers need to hold people with disabilities to the same job standards as co- workers, though the means of accomplishing those standards may differ from person to person. The Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) does not require special privileges for people with disabilities, just equal opportunities.
Denial: Many disabilities are "hidden," such as learning disabilities, psychiatric disabilities, epilepsy, cancer, arthritis and heart conditions. Some people tend to believe that these are not bona fide disabilities needing accommodation. The ADA defines "disability" as an impairment that "substantially limits one or more of the major life activities." Accommodating "hidden" disabilities which meet the above definition can keep valued employees on the job and open doors for new employees.
Fear: Many people are afraid that they will "do or say the wrong thing" around someone with a disability. They therefore avert their own discomfort by avoiding the individual with a disability. As with becoming more comfortable with people from other cultures, frequent encounters can raise the comfort level.
Breaking Down Barriers: Unlike physical and systematic barriers, attitudinal barriers that often lead to illegal discrimination cannot be overcome simply through laws. The best remedy is familiarity, encouraging people with and without disabilities to relate to each other as co-workers, associates and social acquaintances. In time, most of the attitudes will give way to comfort, respect and friendship.
-----
Get your free CD on Conquering Stress Today! http://www.ConquerStressToday.info
Thursday, July 22, 2010
All About Stress . . .
It is my firm belief that the vast majority of individuals and families suffer some form of chronic stress, to some degree. Today, we'll explore this condition a bit more deeply.
How Stress Begins
Stress, especially when it becomes chronic, can suppress your immune system and lead to physical diseases, and it can contribute to development of mental disorders. The circumstances during the time stress occurs and your attitude toward the stress is critical to how you will handle it. The duration, frequency, time of day, and cause of the stress are all conditions to how you react to it.
Stress usually begins as a reaction to relationships, or to you environment. Every individual have expectations that are established on their upbringing, education, and so on. Each person to these expectations are according to how the person perceives the situations. If the events or relationships do not stand up to the person’s expectations, he or she might begin to question what is wrong. If he or she cannot answer this question, or change the situation, stress begins to build.
In reaction to this stress, your brain sends messages throughout the rest of your body. The body responds with signals, such as headaches, muscle and immunity tension, and anxiety, but your mind is so preoccupied with the problem that it is more or less oblivious to the adverse effects of the building tension. The cause of the stress most likely will be resolve in a short time. But if the situation caused prolonged stress, it is clear just how damaging it could be to the mind and body.
Your Body’s Response to Stress: Fight or Flight
When chronic stress is left untreated, it triggers biological changes in the body. These changes consist of three phases—alarm, resistance, and fatigue—representing the body’s mechanism for coping with stress.
This illustrates the influence that your mind and body have on each other. When stress occurs, your adrenal glands and general adaption mechanism kick into action. If this activity continues over a long period of time due to persistent stress, it could cause chronic anxiety, and even depression.
The alarm stage is often referred to as the fight-or-flight response. As the stress begins to build, the brain and endocrine system are stimulated to secrete adrenaline and other stress-related hormones. These help prepare the body to take action, when necessary—either to fight the stress or flee from it.
During the fight-or-flight response, several physiological changes occur. Heart rate increases, pumping blood to all body parts in preparation for their reaction to the perceived stress. The body begins to perspire in order to lower its temperature, digestive activities slow down, and the liver dumps glucose into the blood. All these changes help the body to mobilize energy in preparation for its reaction to stress.
Everyone has experienced the fight-or-flight response at one time or another. The fight-or-flight response is a short phase and is often sufficient to cope with a given stressor. Afterward, the body will rest in order to restore balance. However, if the stress continues, the body enters the phase of resistance, which allows it to continue its struggle with the stressor at hand.
Getting Rid of Stress
Technically, "fight or flight" refers to your physiological reactions to stress, but it also can describe how you handle stressful situations. If you confront your problems and work them through, you probably have developed strong mechanisms or ways of coping with stress. If you avoid or ignore your problems, you are likely to be a candidate to develop stress-related illnesses. Do you often feel overwhelmed by a problem, unable to see your way out? Your ineffective coping mechanisms were formed long ago, but you do have the power to change them. Since stress is an unavoidable part of life, you cannot do away with it completely, however, you can learn to live with stress without suffering the consequences.
Everyone’s tolerance of stress is different, but when you pass your individual threshold and stay there for a significant amount of time, more severe mental and physical illnesses can develop.
In some circumstances stress can be positive if you can use it to face challenges productively. Excess stress needs an outlet, such as exercise, social activities, a hobby, and relaxation techniques. You should try to eliminate the cause of your stress, but if this is impossible, you need to learn to manage your reactions to it.
Some tips for reducing your daily level of stress
* Set limits on your day and stick to them
* Take breaks during the day(at least one for lunch) and try to go outside if possible—fresh air, quiet, and a walk can work wonders to soothe your nerves.
* Make exercise a regular part of your daily routine.
* Listen to soothing music whenever you feel tension begin to build.
* Eat whole (natural, unprocessed) foods and avoid sugar and caffeine.
* Practice relaxation techniques and meditation.
* Try to pinpoint the problem(s) that is causing your stress and find a resolution.
Remember, this is your mind and body. Do whatever it takes to help them to be strong and healthy. They both rely on each other. They need the proper care to obtain the proper balance that is needed in handling stressful situations. Think positive; you can handle it.
Get your free CD on Conquering Stress Today! http://www.ConquerStressToday.info
How Stress Begins
Stress, especially when it becomes chronic, can suppress your immune system and lead to physical diseases, and it can contribute to development of mental disorders. The circumstances during the time stress occurs and your attitude toward the stress is critical to how you will handle it. The duration, frequency, time of day, and cause of the stress are all conditions to how you react to it.
Stress usually begins as a reaction to relationships, or to you environment. Every individual have expectations that are established on their upbringing, education, and so on. Each person to these expectations are according to how the person perceives the situations. If the events or relationships do not stand up to the person’s expectations, he or she might begin to question what is wrong. If he or she cannot answer this question, or change the situation, stress begins to build.
In reaction to this stress, your brain sends messages throughout the rest of your body. The body responds with signals, such as headaches, muscle and immunity tension, and anxiety, but your mind is so preoccupied with the problem that it is more or less oblivious to the adverse effects of the building tension. The cause of the stress most likely will be resolve in a short time. But if the situation caused prolonged stress, it is clear just how damaging it could be to the mind and body.
Your Body’s Response to Stress: Fight or Flight
When chronic stress is left untreated, it triggers biological changes in the body. These changes consist of three phases—alarm, resistance, and fatigue—representing the body’s mechanism for coping with stress.
This illustrates the influence that your mind and body have on each other. When stress occurs, your adrenal glands and general adaption mechanism kick into action. If this activity continues over a long period of time due to persistent stress, it could cause chronic anxiety, and even depression.
The alarm stage is often referred to as the fight-or-flight response. As the stress begins to build, the brain and endocrine system are stimulated to secrete adrenaline and other stress-related hormones. These help prepare the body to take action, when necessary—either to fight the stress or flee from it.
During the fight-or-flight response, several physiological changes occur. Heart rate increases, pumping blood to all body parts in preparation for their reaction to the perceived stress. The body begins to perspire in order to lower its temperature, digestive activities slow down, and the liver dumps glucose into the blood. All these changes help the body to mobilize energy in preparation for its reaction to stress.
Everyone has experienced the fight-or-flight response at one time or another. The fight-or-flight response is a short phase and is often sufficient to cope with a given stressor. Afterward, the body will rest in order to restore balance. However, if the stress continues, the body enters the phase of resistance, which allows it to continue its struggle with the stressor at hand.
Getting Rid of Stress
Technically, "fight or flight" refers to your physiological reactions to stress, but it also can describe how you handle stressful situations. If you confront your problems and work them through, you probably have developed strong mechanisms or ways of coping with stress. If you avoid or ignore your problems, you are likely to be a candidate to develop stress-related illnesses. Do you often feel overwhelmed by a problem, unable to see your way out? Your ineffective coping mechanisms were formed long ago, but you do have the power to change them. Since stress is an unavoidable part of life, you cannot do away with it completely, however, you can learn to live with stress without suffering the consequences.
Everyone’s tolerance of stress is different, but when you pass your individual threshold and stay there for a significant amount of time, more severe mental and physical illnesses can develop.
In some circumstances stress can be positive if you can use it to face challenges productively. Excess stress needs an outlet, such as exercise, social activities, a hobby, and relaxation techniques. You should try to eliminate the cause of your stress, but if this is impossible, you need to learn to manage your reactions to it.
Some tips for reducing your daily level of stress
* Set limits on your day and stick to them
* Take breaks during the day(at least one for lunch) and try to go outside if possible—fresh air, quiet, and a walk can work wonders to soothe your nerves.
* Make exercise a regular part of your daily routine.
* Listen to soothing music whenever you feel tension begin to build.
* Eat whole (natural, unprocessed) foods and avoid sugar and caffeine.
* Practice relaxation techniques and meditation.
* Try to pinpoint the problem(s) that is causing your stress and find a resolution.
Remember, this is your mind and body. Do whatever it takes to help them to be strong and healthy. They both rely on each other. They need the proper care to obtain the proper balance that is needed in handling stressful situations. Think positive; you can handle it.
Get your free CD on Conquering Stress Today! http://www.ConquerStressToday.info
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
The Security in Risk . . .
Sometimes the wrong question keeps us from taking the first step. How often have you considered a new activity and then dismissed it after asking yourself, "What if I fail?" What would have happened if you’d asked yourself, "What if I succeed?" Would you have done it? Think back to how the scales tip when you weigh all your life’s successes against your failures. Looks to me like it is a better bet to take the risk that you will succeed.
Make risk your partner in business and in life, but do not make it a silent one. You must get acquainted with your goals and keep them in the forefront of your thinking and actions. This advice, when taken seriously and applied appropriately, will enhance every aspect of your life; it will allow your spirit to soar. General Patton said, "The whole joy of life is taking chances, to build enough faith to destroy all our fears."
The reality is that risk taking is becoming mandatory. As the Internet and other technological advances weave that the world together more tightly, fresh ideas and approaches travel around the world at the speed of light, influencing those it leaves in its wake. If you are hemmed in to your old routine, if you continue to stick with what has worked for you in the past, you will become stagnant and fall behind. You must continue to seek out new and different approaches to your daily life. In short, you must venture in order to gain.
Risk is not for the faith of heart. It requires a tremendous amount of courage, tenacity, and faith to move outside your comfort zone. Once you take the first step, you do not know where the next one will lead. All you know is that you have set in motion an entirely new chain of events, and it will take all your know-how to handle the unexpected opportunities and challenges that await you. Take heart: the rewards are bountiful. Remember, each time you do something that feels scary, different, and risky, you gain experience that emboldens you to do it for a second time, a third time, and perhaps more.
One clue that you are not taking enough risks is that you feel as if your life is in a rut. If you are feeling that way, now is a great time to break the self-imposed lock on rigid thinking and the preconceived ideas that there is no other way to approach problems, situations, or people. Do not allow your fear to continue to corral your natural avant-garde impulses, to clip your creativity, to keep you in a lock-step adherence to everyday sameness. One word describes the result: boring. In real life, the word is even harsher: defeat. Break free from your rut now!
When you get right down to it, it is pretty simple: You have to play the game to win. If you play with the cards so close to your chest, never looking beyond the past and your comfort in the present, you will miss out on bigger rewards in the future. Plus, since life is a game of chance, let us look at the odds. If the past performance is a good indicator, the odds are that every try that you make is not going to be a failure, especially if you keep trying.
Your success depends on thinking quickly and thinking smart and thinking ahead. All are totally in your control and up to you. To get ahead, you must dare to bring your heart, mind, body, and soul to the task of venturing beyond the status quo. You will have to dare to dig deep, and even deeper, to call forth all your assets. You will have to dare to join the party of success and bring something to the table. You will have to crush your fear of failure and realize that nothing overcomes failure except giving it an honest try.
Life is a risk, and we live it. Every day is a leap of faith. So Jump High!
Get your free CD on Conquering Stress Today! http://www.ConquerStressToday.info
Make risk your partner in business and in life, but do not make it a silent one. You must get acquainted with your goals and keep them in the forefront of your thinking and actions. This advice, when taken seriously and applied appropriately, will enhance every aspect of your life; it will allow your spirit to soar. General Patton said, "The whole joy of life is taking chances, to build enough faith to destroy all our fears."
The reality is that risk taking is becoming mandatory. As the Internet and other technological advances weave that the world together more tightly, fresh ideas and approaches travel around the world at the speed of light, influencing those it leaves in its wake. If you are hemmed in to your old routine, if you continue to stick with what has worked for you in the past, you will become stagnant and fall behind. You must continue to seek out new and different approaches to your daily life. In short, you must venture in order to gain.
Risk is not for the faith of heart. It requires a tremendous amount of courage, tenacity, and faith to move outside your comfort zone. Once you take the first step, you do not know where the next one will lead. All you know is that you have set in motion an entirely new chain of events, and it will take all your know-how to handle the unexpected opportunities and challenges that await you. Take heart: the rewards are bountiful. Remember, each time you do something that feels scary, different, and risky, you gain experience that emboldens you to do it for a second time, a third time, and perhaps more.
One clue that you are not taking enough risks is that you feel as if your life is in a rut. If you are feeling that way, now is a great time to break the self-imposed lock on rigid thinking and the preconceived ideas that there is no other way to approach problems, situations, or people. Do not allow your fear to continue to corral your natural avant-garde impulses, to clip your creativity, to keep you in a lock-step adherence to everyday sameness. One word describes the result: boring. In real life, the word is even harsher: defeat. Break free from your rut now!
When you get right down to it, it is pretty simple: You have to play the game to win. If you play with the cards so close to your chest, never looking beyond the past and your comfort in the present, you will miss out on bigger rewards in the future. Plus, since life is a game of chance, let us look at the odds. If the past performance is a good indicator, the odds are that every try that you make is not going to be a failure, especially if you keep trying.
Your success depends on thinking quickly and thinking smart and thinking ahead. All are totally in your control and up to you. To get ahead, you must dare to bring your heart, mind, body, and soul to the task of venturing beyond the status quo. You will have to dare to dig deep, and even deeper, to call forth all your assets. You will have to dare to join the party of success and bring something to the table. You will have to crush your fear of failure and realize that nothing overcomes failure except giving it an honest try.
Life is a risk, and we live it. Every day is a leap of faith. So Jump High!
Get your free CD on Conquering Stress Today! http://www.ConquerStressToday.info
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Understanding the Blocks That Bind You . . .
Many of us feel so flawed that we believe that we are not good enough and never will be. And, if we find something wrong with us, then we are going to find something wrong with others as well. If we are still continuing to say that we can’t do something because our mother said this or our father did that, then we have not yet grown up.
So now you want to let your barriers go, and perhaps learn something different that you didn’t know before now. Maybe one sentence here can trigger a new thought.
Can you imagine how wonderful it would be if every day you learned a new idea that would help you to let go of the past and create harmony in your life? When you become aware and understand the individual process of life, you will know what direction to take. If you put your energies into learning about yourself, you will eventually see those problems and issues that you need to dissolve.
Facing Challenges
We all have challenges in life. Everyone does. Nobody goes through life without them; otherwise, what would be the purpose of coming to this particular school called Earth? For some, there are health challenges, and for others there are relationship challenges, or career and financial challenges. Some have a little or a lot of everything.
One of our biggest problems is that most of us haven’t the faintest idea of what it is we want to let go. We know what is not working, and we may think we know what we want in life, yet we do not know what is holding us back.
If your own patterns and problems are what hold you back, into what categories do they fall: criticism, fear, guilt, or resentment? These categories are often called The Big Four. Which is the prominent one, or ones, in your life?
Your Inner Beliefs
Your experiences always reflect your inner beliefs. You can literally look at your experiences and determine what your beliefs are. Maybe it is disturbing to consider, but if you look at the people in your life, they also mirror what you believe about yourself. Everything we embrace in our lives is a mirror of who we are. When something is happening that is not comfortable, we have an opportunity to look inside and ask, "How am I contributing to this experience? What is within me that believes I deserve this?"
We all also have family patterns, and it is very easy for us to blame our parents, or our childhood, or our present environment, but such thoughts only keep us motionless. We are not allowing ourselves to become free. Instead, we remain victims, and we perpetuate the same problems over and over again.
It does not matter what anyone else did to you or what they taught you—or thought of you—in the past. Today is a new day. You are now in charge, and the choice is yours. Now is the time to create your future and your world. Only you can change the way you think, feel, and act. Yet you definitely can do it because you have the power within you that can break you free from these patterns if you will just allow it.
Self-Talk
Think of what you want bring into reality for yourself. Form them into positive (not negative!) affirmations. Now, go to the mirror and repeat your affirmations. See what obstacles that might be standing in your way. When you begin to state an affirmation like, "Each day, in every way, I am getting better and better," pay close attention to the negative messages that may come up. Usually, these negative messages are one of the four I mentioned earlier: criticism, fear, guilt, or resentment.
(In front of the mirror is not the best place to practice affirmations. Here, you are just running a little experiment to see how you react to yourself, what your self-image really is. The best way to practice your affirmations is in an advanced relaxed state where you can communicate with your subconscious to make them part of you. In my sessions, I teach you how to do this.)
As you recognize them, they will actually become treasures that will help to unlock the door to your freedom. How? They will actually present opportunities to take command and banish them for life! This is a new start for you to begin to take responsibility and think for yourself.
Many of us may face resistance when we begin our affirmations. However, resistance is the first step toward change. We need a safe space where we can work through these feelings. By letting go of the anger, rage, and shame we can move to the space where we are able to love ourselves.
The Healing Process
No matter what we are working on, it is important to remember that the feelings that come up are just feelings. Feelings are no longer experiences. We need to work on making the inner child feel safe. We have to be thankful for being able to survive the experiences and move on.
Sometimes when we are dealing with an issue of a wrong that has been done to us it is difficult to accept that the other person may have been doing the best he or she could at the time with the understanding, awareness, and knowledge that they had.
We all need healing. When we learn to truly love and be honest to ourselves, we no longer harm anyone, including ourselves.
Get your free CD on Conquering Stress Today! http://www.ConquerStressToday.info
So now you want to let your barriers go, and perhaps learn something different that you didn’t know before now. Maybe one sentence here can trigger a new thought.
Can you imagine how wonderful it would be if every day you learned a new idea that would help you to let go of the past and create harmony in your life? When you become aware and understand the individual process of life, you will know what direction to take. If you put your energies into learning about yourself, you will eventually see those problems and issues that you need to dissolve.
Facing Challenges
We all have challenges in life. Everyone does. Nobody goes through life without them; otherwise, what would be the purpose of coming to this particular school called Earth? For some, there are health challenges, and for others there are relationship challenges, or career and financial challenges. Some have a little or a lot of everything.
One of our biggest problems is that most of us haven’t the faintest idea of what it is we want to let go. We know what is not working, and we may think we know what we want in life, yet we do not know what is holding us back.
If your own patterns and problems are what hold you back, into what categories do they fall: criticism, fear, guilt, or resentment? These categories are often called The Big Four. Which is the prominent one, or ones, in your life?
Your Inner Beliefs
Your experiences always reflect your inner beliefs. You can literally look at your experiences and determine what your beliefs are. Maybe it is disturbing to consider, but if you look at the people in your life, they also mirror what you believe about yourself. Everything we embrace in our lives is a mirror of who we are. When something is happening that is not comfortable, we have an opportunity to look inside and ask, "How am I contributing to this experience? What is within me that believes I deserve this?"
We all also have family patterns, and it is very easy for us to blame our parents, or our childhood, or our present environment, but such thoughts only keep us motionless. We are not allowing ourselves to become free. Instead, we remain victims, and we perpetuate the same problems over and over again.
It does not matter what anyone else did to you or what they taught you—or thought of you—in the past. Today is a new day. You are now in charge, and the choice is yours. Now is the time to create your future and your world. Only you can change the way you think, feel, and act. Yet you definitely can do it because you have the power within you that can break you free from these patterns if you will just allow it.
Self-Talk
Think of what you want bring into reality for yourself. Form them into positive (not negative!) affirmations. Now, go to the mirror and repeat your affirmations. See what obstacles that might be standing in your way. When you begin to state an affirmation like, "Each day, in every way, I am getting better and better," pay close attention to the negative messages that may come up. Usually, these negative messages are one of the four I mentioned earlier: criticism, fear, guilt, or resentment.
(In front of the mirror is not the best place to practice affirmations. Here, you are just running a little experiment to see how you react to yourself, what your self-image really is. The best way to practice your affirmations is in an advanced relaxed state where you can communicate with your subconscious to make them part of you. In my sessions, I teach you how to do this.)
As you recognize them, they will actually become treasures that will help to unlock the door to your freedom. How? They will actually present opportunities to take command and banish them for life! This is a new start for you to begin to take responsibility and think for yourself.
Many of us may face resistance when we begin our affirmations. However, resistance is the first step toward change. We need a safe space where we can work through these feelings. By letting go of the anger, rage, and shame we can move to the space where we are able to love ourselves.
The Healing Process
No matter what we are working on, it is important to remember that the feelings that come up are just feelings. Feelings are no longer experiences. We need to work on making the inner child feel safe. We have to be thankful for being able to survive the experiences and move on.
Sometimes when we are dealing with an issue of a wrong that has been done to us it is difficult to accept that the other person may have been doing the best he or she could at the time with the understanding, awareness, and knowledge that they had.
We all need healing. When we learn to truly love and be honest to ourselves, we no longer harm anyone, including ourselves.
Get your free CD on Conquering Stress Today! http://www.ConquerStressToday.info
Monday, July 19, 2010
Eliminate Negativity From Your Life . . .
When you view your life, do you get positive or negative feelings? Do you awake each morning grateful for your blessings, ready and eager to meet the day, or is it just another day?
Let’s face it: We all suffer negative thoughts and feelings. But that means only that we all have some "kinks" to work out in our lives. That includes the negativity.
Negativity causes intense stress. Events in your own life and in the lives of others, if you get sucked into them, affect you for as long as your mind dwells on them. This produces both emotional and physical stress reactions. Not only can reactions to events affect your life, but they can even control it. Stress is the strongest associate with every type of condition and illness that exist. Stress is the number one killer. This is why you must become aware of and begin to eliminate the negative events, thoughts, emotions, and even the negative people from your life.
Continuously affirm to yourself, "It is just an event"
It was Shakespeare who said, "This, too, shall pass." Life each day can be viewed as a stream of connected events—some positive and some negative. The negative events can cause great stress, but they have the stress-producing power that only you assign to them. Separate your perception, opinion, and value judgment of a negative event from the event. Affirm to yourself, "It is just an event," and you will avoid triggering stress reactions.
Because time proceeds in one direction only, you have neither the power nor the option to change the outcome of a past event. But you have total power to choose how or whether you will respond or react to it, thereby influencing succeeding events and outcomes.
It is likely that, because of different beliefs, values, and opinions, four people who see the same event will relate and react to it in four different ways. But beliefs, values, and opinions are always in the mind, not in the event. Use this knowledge to separate your emotions from the events that occur in your life.
Probably 80 percent of the stress you experience during your life is created solely by how you use your mind. If you use your mind as you always have and as those around you use theirs, your stress level will continue to build until your body breaks down.
If, however, you learn to use your mind correctly, your stress level will be automatically reduced. Therefore, your goal is to stop reacting mentally and emotionally to what is going on around you, to perceive each new situation as just a neutral event. Then you can choose unemotionally what response to make. Your life stays under your control.
Daily life is full of potentially stress-triggering events. As you become more active, accept more challenges, and set more goals, your potential for stress becomes greater. Yet your stress level is something over which you can exercise almost total control, should you choose to.
To reduce stress, don’t make value judgments about people or events
A value judgment occurs when you inject strong opinions, beliefs, or feelings into or about an event. Value judgments include good or bad, just or unjust, right or wrong. None of these value judgments exists in the event itself, but only in how your mind views it. The moment you begin to inject negative opinions, feelings, or beliefs into events, you automatically stir up negative stress-producing emotions. If you make a negative value judgment about the outcome of an event, an experience, or even another person, you will end up upset and full of stress.
Make a positive value judgment, and you will end up happy and full of energy. The choice is totally up to you, and only you.
Making the most of each day
There is much that can be said for the philosophy, "Live one day at a time." Wallowing in past regret, or worrying about the future, is wasted energy. Concentrate on the present. Making plans for tomorrow, the next day, and the one after is wise, but you must not forget that unless you start today with your self-improvements, your future will not improve.
What you will be tomorrow depends on what you do today. Discipline yourself to enjoy each moment of living. No one knows what tomorrow will bring. So enjoy and make most of today.
Living can be simplified. You need merely to accept certain basic truths, certain fundamental common sense rules, and utilize your positive beliefs as a means of putting these rules of healthier living into daily practice.
If you begin today—now—the future will take care of itself. You can formulate your own rules for better living. Let them become part of a morning prayer that you recite to yourself at the beginning of each day.
Your own experience will be your best proof of how positive thinking can accomplish wonders for you.
I know I just said this, but I will say it again: Stress is the strongest associate with every type of condition and illness. Stress is the number one killer. It can be the difference between a short, miserable life, or a happy, long one. Choose the latter.
P.S. Get your free CD on Stress today: http://www.ConquerStressToday.info
Let’s face it: We all suffer negative thoughts and feelings. But that means only that we all have some "kinks" to work out in our lives. That includes the negativity.
Negativity causes intense stress. Events in your own life and in the lives of others, if you get sucked into them, affect you for as long as your mind dwells on them. This produces both emotional and physical stress reactions. Not only can reactions to events affect your life, but they can even control it. Stress is the strongest associate with every type of condition and illness that exist. Stress is the number one killer. This is why you must become aware of and begin to eliminate the negative events, thoughts, emotions, and even the negative people from your life.
Continuously affirm to yourself, "It is just an event"
It was Shakespeare who said, "This, too, shall pass." Life each day can be viewed as a stream of connected events—some positive and some negative. The negative events can cause great stress, but they have the stress-producing power that only you assign to them. Separate your perception, opinion, and value judgment of a negative event from the event. Affirm to yourself, "It is just an event," and you will avoid triggering stress reactions.
Because time proceeds in one direction only, you have neither the power nor the option to change the outcome of a past event. But you have total power to choose how or whether you will respond or react to it, thereby influencing succeeding events and outcomes.
It is likely that, because of different beliefs, values, and opinions, four people who see the same event will relate and react to it in four different ways. But beliefs, values, and opinions are always in the mind, not in the event. Use this knowledge to separate your emotions from the events that occur in your life.
Probably 80 percent of the stress you experience during your life is created solely by how you use your mind. If you use your mind as you always have and as those around you use theirs, your stress level will continue to build until your body breaks down.
If, however, you learn to use your mind correctly, your stress level will be automatically reduced. Therefore, your goal is to stop reacting mentally and emotionally to what is going on around you, to perceive each new situation as just a neutral event. Then you can choose unemotionally what response to make. Your life stays under your control.
Daily life is full of potentially stress-triggering events. As you become more active, accept more challenges, and set more goals, your potential for stress becomes greater. Yet your stress level is something over which you can exercise almost total control, should you choose to.
To reduce stress, don’t make value judgments about people or events
A value judgment occurs when you inject strong opinions, beliefs, or feelings into or about an event. Value judgments include good or bad, just or unjust, right or wrong. None of these value judgments exists in the event itself, but only in how your mind views it. The moment you begin to inject negative opinions, feelings, or beliefs into events, you automatically stir up negative stress-producing emotions. If you make a negative value judgment about the outcome of an event, an experience, or even another person, you will end up upset and full of stress.
Make a positive value judgment, and you will end up happy and full of energy. The choice is totally up to you, and only you.
Making the most of each day
There is much that can be said for the philosophy, "Live one day at a time." Wallowing in past regret, or worrying about the future, is wasted energy. Concentrate on the present. Making plans for tomorrow, the next day, and the one after is wise, but you must not forget that unless you start today with your self-improvements, your future will not improve.
What you will be tomorrow depends on what you do today. Discipline yourself to enjoy each moment of living. No one knows what tomorrow will bring. So enjoy and make most of today.
Living can be simplified. You need merely to accept certain basic truths, certain fundamental common sense rules, and utilize your positive beliefs as a means of putting these rules of healthier living into daily practice.
If you begin today—now—the future will take care of itself. You can formulate your own rules for better living. Let them become part of a morning prayer that you recite to yourself at the beginning of each day.
Your own experience will be your best proof of how positive thinking can accomplish wonders for you.
I know I just said this, but I will say it again: Stress is the strongest associate with every type of condition and illness. Stress is the number one killer. It can be the difference between a short, miserable life, or a happy, long one. Choose the latter.
P.S. Get your free CD on Stress today: http://www.ConquerStressToday.info
Friday, July 16, 2010
Chronic Fatigue and Your Sleep Patterns . . .
That a person should have a minimum of six to eight hours of sleep is well known. But how are you caring for your biological clock?
The human body prefers the use of patterns. For instance, one should take an antidepressive medication at certain predetermined times. To break this pattern is to take chances on reducing the drug’s effectiveness and aggravating side effects. Perhaps we have not often thought of our sleeping habits in quite the same way, but we should. The body expects to rest in much the same way. It wants a regular time to sleep and to awake. While this is true whether or not a medication is involved, the use of a medication increases its importance.
Let’s use some common sense, some logic for a moment (even though these terms are often anathema in the worlds of medicine and psychology). Your metabolism works at different levels when awake as opposed to when asleep. You breathe and your heart beats at different rates. This is why, for example, heartburn can set in after eating just before bedtime; the digestive system, like the rest of the anatomy, virtually shuts down while sleeping.
What, then, does an irregular sleeping pattern do to a drug regimen? Two issues factor in here: what time you go to bed and how long you sleep.
Let’s say the doctor tells you to take one pill in the morning, one in the afternoon, and two at bedtime. So you go to bed at 9:00 p.m. Tomorrow, however, you retire at 11:00 p.m. This adds two hours of active time, as opposed to the previous day, for the afternoon pill to work, and takes away those two hours of inactive time for twice the amount of medication at bedtime. How can you expect your body to regulate that, when it doesn’t know how much time will be allotted for either situation? The result may be a more inefficient and improper use of medication by your anatomy, though you think you are following the doctor’s orders. Could this be a factor in an increase of depression and/or side effects?
Now combine this situation with the fatigue created by this lifestyle. Fatigue and drowsiness are common side effects to antiseizure medication. If you are experiencing them, first take a look at your sleeping habits before placing the entire blame on the drug.
(As a suggestion, a short 20 minute nap during the day, if possible, will often work wonders.)
Nonetheless, many people suffer fatigue despite proper sleep patterns, even without medication. Obviously, this calls for looking at the rest of your life to see what is going on, especially in terms of stress.
A huge reason for fatigue is chronic stress. This condition ravages our society in epidemic proportions. Admitting one is suffering from stress, however, does little to overcome it because all the aggravating factors are still there.
But conquering stress, tension, and depression is more simple than one may think, once one knows how. I am giving away a free CD on this for a while longer. If you want one, just go to my website: http://ConquerStressToday.info. I'll be happy to send you one. :)
The human body prefers the use of patterns. For instance, one should take an antidepressive medication at certain predetermined times. To break this pattern is to take chances on reducing the drug’s effectiveness and aggravating side effects. Perhaps we have not often thought of our sleeping habits in quite the same way, but we should. The body expects to rest in much the same way. It wants a regular time to sleep and to awake. While this is true whether or not a medication is involved, the use of a medication increases its importance.
Let’s use some common sense, some logic for a moment (even though these terms are often anathema in the worlds of medicine and psychology). Your metabolism works at different levels when awake as opposed to when asleep. You breathe and your heart beats at different rates. This is why, for example, heartburn can set in after eating just before bedtime; the digestive system, like the rest of the anatomy, virtually shuts down while sleeping.
What, then, does an irregular sleeping pattern do to a drug regimen? Two issues factor in here: what time you go to bed and how long you sleep.
Let’s say the doctor tells you to take one pill in the morning, one in the afternoon, and two at bedtime. So you go to bed at 9:00 p.m. Tomorrow, however, you retire at 11:00 p.m. This adds two hours of active time, as opposed to the previous day, for the afternoon pill to work, and takes away those two hours of inactive time for twice the amount of medication at bedtime. How can you expect your body to regulate that, when it doesn’t know how much time will be allotted for either situation? The result may be a more inefficient and improper use of medication by your anatomy, though you think you are following the doctor’s orders. Could this be a factor in an increase of depression and/or side effects?
Now combine this situation with the fatigue created by this lifestyle. Fatigue and drowsiness are common side effects to antiseizure medication. If you are experiencing them, first take a look at your sleeping habits before placing the entire blame on the drug.
(As a suggestion, a short 20 minute nap during the day, if possible, will often work wonders.)
Nonetheless, many people suffer fatigue despite proper sleep patterns, even without medication. Obviously, this calls for looking at the rest of your life to see what is going on, especially in terms of stress.
A huge reason for fatigue is chronic stress. This condition ravages our society in epidemic proportions. Admitting one is suffering from stress, however, does little to overcome it because all the aggravating factors are still there.
But conquering stress, tension, and depression is more simple than one may think, once one knows how. I am giving away a free CD on this for a while longer. If you want one, just go to my website: http://ConquerStressToday.info. I'll be happy to send you one. :)
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Stress Got You Down?
Everything about our economy has gone up. Taxes, foreclosures, bankruptcy, just to name a few are at their all time high. The necessities are difficult to handle much less adding more payments. Many people are getting laid off, and those who are lucky enough to be employed are feeling the stress. No more will 20, or 40 hours of work a week pay the bills. It's now a 60, or 80 hour work week, and we're talking about both parents to make ends meet.
Very few have the time they once did to send time with family and friends. We have become a go to work, and go to bed nation. What little time most have is spent just getting their thoughts together for the next work day.
What is this doing to our health, and to the children involved? Once the body has taken the go way it's difficult for one to slow down. This effecting both the mind and body. Heart is beating faster and the thoughts are getting out of control, leaving only stress to take control. We hear of both men and women falling over with heart attacks. Heart disease is at its all time high.
Many have gotten so deeply into this way of life that it is actually hard for them to retire. The stressful life at work is taken home, leaving the family in desparate for attention. The children are left taking care of themselves with no examples to follow. Mostly the topic discussed by parents is how to make the next payment.
It has become so personally and emotionally draining that most needs are not met, and by the time things need to be addressed it is too late. Before the parties involved things have gotten so out of control divorce papers are served.
Are you caught into this mode of life or anything similar? Honestly, there is no reason you should be going through all this stress. I'll tell you what: go to my website and let me know where, and I will send you a free CD to help you launch yourself into a new life of peace and relaxation, while actually increasing your productiveness. You will see it after you get to the second page.
Go there now. You will find it at http://www.ConquerStressToday.info
Very few have the time they once did to send time with family and friends. We have become a go to work, and go to bed nation. What little time most have is spent just getting their thoughts together for the next work day.
What is this doing to our health, and to the children involved? Once the body has taken the go way it's difficult for one to slow down. This effecting both the mind and body. Heart is beating faster and the thoughts are getting out of control, leaving only stress to take control. We hear of both men and women falling over with heart attacks. Heart disease is at its all time high.
Many have gotten so deeply into this way of life that it is actually hard for them to retire. The stressful life at work is taken home, leaving the family in desparate for attention. The children are left taking care of themselves with no examples to follow. Mostly the topic discussed by parents is how to make the next payment.
It has become so personally and emotionally draining that most needs are not met, and by the time things need to be addressed it is too late. Before the parties involved things have gotten so out of control divorce papers are served.
Are you caught into this mode of life or anything similar? Honestly, there is no reason you should be going through all this stress. I'll tell you what: go to my website and let me know where, and I will send you a free CD to help you launch yourself into a new life of peace and relaxation, while actually increasing your productiveness. You will see it after you get to the second page.
Go there now. You will find it at http://www.ConquerStressToday.info
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Friday, July 9, 2010
Do You Have the Willpower to Rise to the Top?
Exercising your willpower is all about maximizing your true potential. It is about giving all your undertakings your best shot because everything you do represents you. It is about dodging the daily worry, fear, instigators, and invaders (internal or external) that threaten to detour you off the path to your destination. Most of all, it is about shifting out of park and switching on your personal power. It is about paying the price of a bus ride, because the endless stretch of highway on the other side is well worth the trip!
Willpower! The word is so potent that it is worthy of explanation. According to Webster’s New Dictionary and Thesaurus, will is the "attitude, choice, command, decision, desire, determination, prerogative, resolution, resolve, wish"; whereas power is the "ability to do anything; capacity for producing an effect."
The two words together, will and power, indicate an applied attitude, productive choice, the ability to do anything at your command. There is nothing mysterious, magical, remote, or exclusive about willpower. It is simply the capacity we each have, every day, to make the most of our innate and developed talents in achieving our desires. It is a loud knock at the door of your being that shouts, "One more round!"
The human experience consists of one event after another and another and just one more; Therefore, being energized and willing to face the next project, or difficulty is essential. You can be assured that the next test or opportunity is just a few steps behind. Stand ready with a supply of willpower and an ongoing commitment to make a solid effort. Remember the words of Robert Frost, "The best way out is always through."
We all have the responsibility to pay attention to the messages we send ourselves.Sometimes, without being conscious of it, we sabotage our efforts through negative self-talk. If you are feeling paralyzed, maybe you are being held hostage by self-talk that says, "If ever I have a chance to..." which becomes dwarfed by a long list of "if only’s."
Or maybe you are stuck in a rut, frozen by convincing self-talk that says, "Dare not take a chance or you might make a mistake." The person who has never made a mistake is a person who has never achieved very much. There is no glory in not trying. Do not allow your self-talk worry you into not taking the next step; instead, use positive self-talk. Take the if off the end of the phrase "I will if," and you have "I will."
Let us stop for a moment and look at worry because this distress signal is one that most often interferes in your progress. Experts who have studied worry have found that more than 90 percent of our worries never materialize. Looked at another way, this means our fears have only 10 percent chance of happening. (Actually, our worst fears take place even less often than that.)
Sometimes the worries that are festering in our minds concern things that are completely out of our control, which means they are not worth the worry.
There is only one way to get from Point A to Point B: Go there! Sometimes it takes considerable willpower to do it. But it will not happen otherwise.
Willpower! The word is so potent that it is worthy of explanation. According to Webster’s New Dictionary and Thesaurus, will is the "attitude, choice, command, decision, desire, determination, prerogative, resolution, resolve, wish"; whereas power is the "ability to do anything; capacity for producing an effect."
The two words together, will and power, indicate an applied attitude, productive choice, the ability to do anything at your command. There is nothing mysterious, magical, remote, or exclusive about willpower. It is simply the capacity we each have, every day, to make the most of our innate and developed talents in achieving our desires. It is a loud knock at the door of your being that shouts, "One more round!"
The human experience consists of one event after another and another and just one more; Therefore, being energized and willing to face the next project, or difficulty is essential. You can be assured that the next test or opportunity is just a few steps behind. Stand ready with a supply of willpower and an ongoing commitment to make a solid effort. Remember the words of Robert Frost, "The best way out is always through."
We all have the responsibility to pay attention to the messages we send ourselves.Sometimes, without being conscious of it, we sabotage our efforts through negative self-talk. If you are feeling paralyzed, maybe you are being held hostage by self-talk that says, "If ever I have a chance to..." which becomes dwarfed by a long list of "if only’s."
Or maybe you are stuck in a rut, frozen by convincing self-talk that says, "Dare not take a chance or you might make a mistake." The person who has never made a mistake is a person who has never achieved very much. There is no glory in not trying. Do not allow your self-talk worry you into not taking the next step; instead, use positive self-talk. Take the if off the end of the phrase "I will if," and you have "I will."
Let us stop for a moment and look at worry because this distress signal is one that most often interferes in your progress. Experts who have studied worry have found that more than 90 percent of our worries never materialize. Looked at another way, this means our fears have only 10 percent chance of happening. (Actually, our worst fears take place even less often than that.)
Sometimes the worries that are festering in our minds concern things that are completely out of our control, which means they are not worth the worry.
There is only one way to get from Point A to Point B: Go there! Sometimes it takes considerable willpower to do it. But it will not happen otherwise.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Is There a MAN in the House?
After many years, women obtained equal rights. With this came responsibilities, and some that women weren't prepared for. Voting rights, workmanship, were going to reflect on how differently the world would view them. Before the rights came into play it was men's society. If women would refuse, or ask questions, they were in many cases treated as nothing more than a child.
Not all was so bad, however. When it came to raising the family and taking care of the husband and house, it was the wife's duty to fulfill these duties. The husband's duty was to go out and provide for the family. For many years, this life worked because all parties knew what they needed to do, and loved each other as they did it.
Yet something happened along the way: the control of males over the females went overboard. The females finally said, " Enough is enough! We have rights, too." Doing, and not doing as the man wanted was a set up for punishment. A catch 22 situation in many cases. Often the laws and rights were set for the males and only the males. For example, we can still see this regarding the work community: women get paid less than men when doing the same job.
Even though it has improved some over the years, When a woman is sexually assaulted, she is put into a category belittling her existence. In court, she often is grilled as if she's the perpetrator, in an effort to justify the actual perpetrator's actions. Perhaps this is necessary - I don't know - but I can assure you that is a small comfort to the woman.
Okay, this is where I'm leading to in my topic today. (Was there a bit of ramble to my rant?) I have seen and experienced cases where men (in this case, I use that term lightly) have come up and told me right up front that all they want to do is have sex with me. (Sorry to be so graphic, but perhaps you can imagine how shocking this is to a woman who never goes there.) These come from characters who don't know anything about me. They have never met me. But they still want to hop in the sack, just like that.
Then some whom I do get to know, or at least I thought I knew, want to be friends, but only with "benefits." No benefits, no friendship. Who created the saying, "friends with benefits," anyway? Of course, certain men. They are just looking for a quick fix. Those are the only feelings they have, and those feelings don't come from the heart. I shouldn't have to explain where they do come from.
No way are their feelings about anyone else. When a man comes up to me and expresses that he's been with a lot of women (why do they think that impresses a woman, anyway?), I begin to wonder what they are carrying and whether they even care if they pass it on. If a man has to be with that many women in the first place, he's a player who cares only about himself. Once he gets there, nothing else matters.
Sex in this society has too often become a filthy and disgusting act of control - or better said, lack of control. Making love, an act resulting from true love, is totally the opposite because before that even takes place the parties have connected with their hearts. The other person means more to each than the sexual act ever could. They both aim to please each other, in all phases of their relationship.
That is what is meant by being at one. We must open up our hearts . . . and put a harness on some of the other parts of our bodies until the heart has had its way.
Not all was so bad, however. When it came to raising the family and taking care of the husband and house, it was the wife's duty to fulfill these duties. The husband's duty was to go out and provide for the family. For many years, this life worked because all parties knew what they needed to do, and loved each other as they did it.
Yet something happened along the way: the control of males over the females went overboard. The females finally said, " Enough is enough! We have rights, too." Doing, and not doing as the man wanted was a set up for punishment. A catch 22 situation in many cases. Often the laws and rights were set for the males and only the males. For example, we can still see this regarding the work community: women get paid less than men when doing the same job.
Even though it has improved some over the years, When a woman is sexually assaulted, she is put into a category belittling her existence. In court, she often is grilled as if she's the perpetrator, in an effort to justify the actual perpetrator's actions. Perhaps this is necessary - I don't know - but I can assure you that is a small comfort to the woman.
Okay, this is where I'm leading to in my topic today. (Was there a bit of ramble to my rant?) I have seen and experienced cases where men (in this case, I use that term lightly) have come up and told me right up front that all they want to do is have sex with me. (Sorry to be so graphic, but perhaps you can imagine how shocking this is to a woman who never goes there.) These come from characters who don't know anything about me. They have never met me. But they still want to hop in the sack, just like that.
Then some whom I do get to know, or at least I thought I knew, want to be friends, but only with "benefits." No benefits, no friendship. Who created the saying, "friends with benefits," anyway? Of course, certain men. They are just looking for a quick fix. Those are the only feelings they have, and those feelings don't come from the heart. I shouldn't have to explain where they do come from.
No way are their feelings about anyone else. When a man comes up to me and expresses that he's been with a lot of women (why do they think that impresses a woman, anyway?), I begin to wonder what they are carrying and whether they even care if they pass it on. If a man has to be with that many women in the first place, he's a player who cares only about himself. Once he gets there, nothing else matters.
Sex in this society has too often become a filthy and disgusting act of control - or better said, lack of control. Making love, an act resulting from true love, is totally the opposite because before that even takes place the parties have connected with their hearts. The other person means more to each than the sexual act ever could. They both aim to please each other, in all phases of their relationship.
That is what is meant by being at one. We must open up our hearts . . . and put a harness on some of the other parts of our bodies until the heart has had its way.
Monday, July 5, 2010
Being Honest With Ourselves . . .
This above all: to thine own self be true. - Shakespeare
How often do we hear the word honesty? Yet how many understand the true significance of what it means to be honest? Honesty is an act of love toward ourselves.
The main value of honesty is that whatever we give out in life we will get back. The law of cause and effect is always operating on all levels. If we belittle or judge others, then we, too, are judged. If we are always angry, then we encounter anger wherever we go. The love we have for ourselves keeps us in tune with the love life has for us.
For instance, imagine that you applied for a job you really wanted and did not get it. Does it make you feel like a victim? Certain questions would probably arise: Why wasn’t I hired? Who did this to me? It is a bad feeling when something like that happens. But do you stop to think how and why you may have attracted such an experience?
Taking responsibility for creating our own experiences is not an idea that many of us accept all the time, and, for some of us, not even some of the time. It is so much easier to blame something outside ourselves, yet our spiritual growth cannot occur until we recognize that there is little of value outside of us in this area—everything must come from within.
Negative beliefs are not the truth of our being. We are magnificent creations of God, and we have the right to earn the very best, and we were given an abundantly plentiful planet on which to do it.
Our good always comes to us by the right of consciousness—making the right choices and implementing them. The work we do in consciousness is always one of refining what we say, think, and do. When we clearly understand that our thoughts create our reality, then we use our reality as feedback mechanism to let us know what we need to change next.
This is what is meant by being honest. Being absolutely honest, down to the last paper clip, is a choice we make out of love for ourselves because honesty helps to make our lives run more smoothly and more easily.
How often do we hear the word honesty? Yet how many understand the true significance of what it means to be honest? Honesty is an act of love toward ourselves.
The main value of honesty is that whatever we give out in life we will get back. The law of cause and effect is always operating on all levels. If we belittle or judge others, then we, too, are judged. If we are always angry, then we encounter anger wherever we go. The love we have for ourselves keeps us in tune with the love life has for us.
For instance, imagine that you applied for a job you really wanted and did not get it. Does it make you feel like a victim? Certain questions would probably arise: Why wasn’t I hired? Who did this to me? It is a bad feeling when something like that happens. But do you stop to think how and why you may have attracted such an experience?
Taking responsibility for creating our own experiences is not an idea that many of us accept all the time, and, for some of us, not even some of the time. It is so much easier to blame something outside ourselves, yet our spiritual growth cannot occur until we recognize that there is little of value outside of us in this area—everything must come from within.
Negative beliefs are not the truth of our being. We are magnificent creations of God, and we have the right to earn the very best, and we were given an abundantly plentiful planet on which to do it.
Our good always comes to us by the right of consciousness—making the right choices and implementing them. The work we do in consciousness is always one of refining what we say, think, and do. When we clearly understand that our thoughts create our reality, then we use our reality as feedback mechanism to let us know what we need to change next.
This is what is meant by being honest. Being absolutely honest, down to the last paper clip, is a choice we make out of love for ourselves because honesty helps to make our lives run more smoothly and more easily.
Friday, July 2, 2010
The Values in a Healthy Personality . . .
If anyone knew how to itemize principles, it was the eminent psychologist Carl Rogers. An example of such is what Rogers, in his book On Becoming a Person (1961), referred to as "statements of significant learnings," and the following is just one example of those: "In my relationships with persons I have found that it does not help, in the long run, to act as though I were something I am not."
Rogers went on to discuss the need to trust the self. This is an important basis for the process of thought that will result in understanding what we are dealing with. The person, not the facts, holds the key to one's future. Facts and events do not decide conclusions; rather they carry meanings for us to discover them for ourselves.
Behaviors are conducted according to how we interpret events. Perhaps this is a basis to the flood of massive problems facing society today, which is simply a reflection of individual personalities inhabiting it. The human is results-oriented: In other words, expediency rules the day. The human is anarchistic by nature and bent toward chaos. Individual differences of interpretation is a major reason for this. Our beliefs and assumptions - the way we view things - has a major impact on the perception, recall, and interpretation of events.
The results, then, depend on our interpretation. We make decisions based on their own predictions of results, which are funneled through their own interpretations, which are based largely on past experiences, both in education and conditioning.
Our redeeming characteristics to this may our sense of community and social justice. Society, therefore, has recognized these sometimes troublesome characteristics, which have caused the formation of common moral codes, better known as law.
A healthy personality is composed of many different sides. This can often make it difficult to deal with ourselves. As Rogers reflected, "We are motivated to actualize ourselves in the reality that we perceive." In other words, we are driven by our interpretation of reality.
Therein is the problem: our individual perception.
You've heard it said, "Well, I guess we just have different values." That should not be, at least in our core values, our basic values. I'm going to list those values here. If you disagree or can add to them, please do use the comment area below and let me know. Here they are:
Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, virtue, faith, humility, self-control.
Don't just look at these, nod your head, and go on. Work with these. Sit down with a pad and pencil and evaluate each one in your own life. First, define each one: decide what it means to you. Then evaluate where you are in life according to each value. Are you truly where you believe you should be in that area? If not, what are you going to do change it?
My grandfather once took a wise adage and repeated it in his old, charming country way: "If you keep doing things the same old way you have always done them, you'll keep getting the same old results you've always gotten."
Is this a prediction for your future? Or will you take these values and use them to change the way you interpret the facts and events in your life? This is entirely up to you. Make the right choice.
Rogers went on to discuss the need to trust the self. This is an important basis for the process of thought that will result in understanding what we are dealing with. The person, not the facts, holds the key to one's future. Facts and events do not decide conclusions; rather they carry meanings for us to discover them for ourselves.
Behaviors are conducted according to how we interpret events. Perhaps this is a basis to the flood of massive problems facing society today, which is simply a reflection of individual personalities inhabiting it. The human is results-oriented: In other words, expediency rules the day. The human is anarchistic by nature and bent toward chaos. Individual differences of interpretation is a major reason for this. Our beliefs and assumptions - the way we view things - has a major impact on the perception, recall, and interpretation of events.
The results, then, depend on our interpretation. We make decisions based on their own predictions of results, which are funneled through their own interpretations, which are based largely on past experiences, both in education and conditioning.
Our redeeming characteristics to this may our sense of community and social justice. Society, therefore, has recognized these sometimes troublesome characteristics, which have caused the formation of common moral codes, better known as law.
A healthy personality is composed of many different sides. This can often make it difficult to deal with ourselves. As Rogers reflected, "We are motivated to actualize ourselves in the reality that we perceive." In other words, we are driven by our interpretation of reality.
Therein is the problem: our individual perception.
You've heard it said, "Well, I guess we just have different values." That should not be, at least in our core values, our basic values. I'm going to list those values here. If you disagree or can add to them, please do use the comment area below and let me know. Here they are:
Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, virtue, faith, humility, self-control.
Don't just look at these, nod your head, and go on. Work with these. Sit down with a pad and pencil and evaluate each one in your own life. First, define each one: decide what it means to you. Then evaluate where you are in life according to each value. Are you truly where you believe you should be in that area? If not, what are you going to do change it?
My grandfather once took a wise adage and repeated it in his old, charming country way: "If you keep doing things the same old way you have always done them, you'll keep getting the same old results you've always gotten."
Is this a prediction for your future? Or will you take these values and use them to change the way you interpret the facts and events in your life? This is entirely up to you. Make the right choice.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
The Trouble With Love Is . . .
If you are an older person, you likely remember the song "You Always Hurt the One You Love." (Actually, it's before my time; I am just an afficiando of music, is all.) It's striking to me that the final words to the song are, "If I broke your heart last night, it's because I love you most of all."
A more dramatic, contemporary view is the heart-ripping tear-jerker, "The Trouble With Love Is," by Kelly Clarkson.
But seriously, I hurt you because I love you? I broke your heart because I love you? What's up with that?
More and more through the years, it has become as though, when talking about love, it refers to another four letter word, and therein is the problem. It is sad that so many have lost the true sense of the meaning. It seems the passion and feeling of love has faded into the air.
We can't deny that as humans we desire to be loved. In fact, every creature wants and needs it in some form.
So what made this such a bad thing? Is it that we've been hurt, betrayed, or rejected? To use that would be pulling up history from the beginning of time. Not one living person hasn't had some kind of experience, some more than others.
Wise up people! You can't get what you can't give.
Love has many meanings involving care, hope, fear, and, yes, commitment. Maybe that's it, being afraid to commit, to experience mutual feeling as friends or as mates. People have told me how difficult it is to just date, much less go any deeper than that.
We have to realize that concepts such as love and trust aren't just going to be a given. They have to be shared. The quick fix term is lust, which seems all too often to have replaced love in this society.
Love, true love, has no beginning, no end as the saying goes. However, lust fades in and fades out. It comes and goes with no purpose, no meaning. Are our feelings so dense that we'll sacrifice the most pleasurable, fulfilling, and happy feeling that ever existed for something so temporary?
Everyone has been hurt, but remember this: It wasn't love that caused the pain. It began with the mind and its thoughts that actually broke the heart. Use such experiences toward strength, not weakness. Learn to love more, and more love will come. It's a wonderful thing to pass on.
"Well then, what is love?" one may ask. That one's easy. I found it a long time ago. Here it is:
Love is patient and is kind; love envies not, does not brag about itself, is not puffed up. Love does not behave disgracefully, does not seek its own things, is not easily provoked, thinks no evil, does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.
If you know scripture, you will know where I got that. But it makes no difference what your personal beliefs are. Look at that again. You cannot honestly deny that such virtues would mean a happier life for everyone, can you?
Think about it.
A more dramatic, contemporary view is the heart-ripping tear-jerker, "The Trouble With Love Is," by Kelly Clarkson.
But seriously, I hurt you because I love you? I broke your heart because I love you? What's up with that?
More and more through the years, it has become as though, when talking about love, it refers to another four letter word, and therein is the problem. It is sad that so many have lost the true sense of the meaning. It seems the passion and feeling of love has faded into the air.
We can't deny that as humans we desire to be loved. In fact, every creature wants and needs it in some form.
So what made this such a bad thing? Is it that we've been hurt, betrayed, or rejected? To use that would be pulling up history from the beginning of time. Not one living person hasn't had some kind of experience, some more than others.
Wise up people! You can't get what you can't give.
Love has many meanings involving care, hope, fear, and, yes, commitment. Maybe that's it, being afraid to commit, to experience mutual feeling as friends or as mates. People have told me how difficult it is to just date, much less go any deeper than that.
We have to realize that concepts such as love and trust aren't just going to be a given. They have to be shared. The quick fix term is lust, which seems all too often to have replaced love in this society.
Love, true love, has no beginning, no end as the saying goes. However, lust fades in and fades out. It comes and goes with no purpose, no meaning. Are our feelings so dense that we'll sacrifice the most pleasurable, fulfilling, and happy feeling that ever existed for something so temporary?
Everyone has been hurt, but remember this: It wasn't love that caused the pain. It began with the mind and its thoughts that actually broke the heart. Use such experiences toward strength, not weakness. Learn to love more, and more love will come. It's a wonderful thing to pass on.
"Well then, what is love?" one may ask. That one's easy. I found it a long time ago. Here it is:
Love is patient and is kind; love envies not, does not brag about itself, is not puffed up. Love does not behave disgracefully, does not seek its own things, is not easily provoked, thinks no evil, does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.
If you know scripture, you will know where I got that. But it makes no difference what your personal beliefs are. Look at that again. You cannot honestly deny that such virtues would mean a happier life for everyone, can you?
Think about it.
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