I found the following in the Disability Etiquette Handbook, published by The Baltimore County Commission on Disabilities. I hope they don't mind my posting it here, but I don't know how I could improve upon it:

People with disabilities face many barriers every day–from physical obstacles in buildings to systemic barriers in employment and civic programs. Yet, often, the most difficult barriers to overcome are attitudes other people carry regarding people with disabilities. Whether born from ignorance, fear, misunderstanding or hate, these attitudes keep people from appreciating–and experiencing–the full potential a person with a disability can achieve.

The most pervasive negative attitude is focusing on a person's disability rather than on an individual's abilities. A lawyer is effective if he or she has a solid grasp of law and can effectively advocate for his or her client; that the lawyer accesses law books through a Kurzweil reader because he or she is blind is immaterial to his or her ability to do a thorough job.

A rancher is effective if she or he feeds the cattle and mends the fences; that the rancher with paraplegia operates a cattle feeder system in the bed of a truck via a rod from the cab or rides an all-terrain vehicle to reach fences is immaterial to the job skill. A stocker in a factory is effective if he or she packages the proper number of items in each bin; that the stocker, because of a developmental disability that limits attention span, uses a counting device, is not only immaterial to the job skill, but can make–and has made–that person the most accurate stocker on the factory floor.

People with disabilities encounter many different forms of attitudinal barriers.

Inferiority: Because a person may be impaired in one of life's major functions, some people believe that that individual is a "second-class citizen." However, most people with disabilities have skills that make them valued employees.

Pity: People feel sorry for the person with a disability, who is considered a "victim." This tends to lead to patronizing attitudes. People with disabilities generally don't want pity and charity, just equal opportunity to earn their own way and live independently.

Hero worship: People sometimes consider someone with a disability to be brave or "special" for overcoming a disability. Sometimes the person with a disability is seen as "an inspiration" for the ways they live or work, in spite of the disability. But most people with disabilities do not want accolades for performing day-to-day tasks. The individual has simply learned to adapt by using his or her skills and knowledge, just as everybody adapts to obstacles to successful living and working.

Ignorance: People with disabilities are often dismissed as incapable of accomplishing a task without the opportunity to display their skills. Many people are not aware of what people with disabilities can do. People with disabilities can drive cars, work at jobs, and have families. People who are blind can tell time on a watch and visit museums. People who are deaf can play baseball and enjoy music. People with developmental disabilities can be creative and maintain strong work ethics.

The Spread Effect: People assume that an individual's disability negatively affects other senses, abilities or personality traits, or that the total person is impaired. For example, many people shout at people who are blind or don't expect people using wheelchairs to have the intelligence to speak for themselves. Focusing on the person's abilities rather than his or her disability counters this type of prejudice.

Stereotypes: The other side of the spread effect is the positive and negative generalizations people form about disabilities. For example, many believe that all people who are blind are great musicians or have a keener sense of smell and hearing, that all people who use wheelchairs are docile or compete in paralympics, that all people with developmental disabilities are innocent and sweet-natured, that all people with disabilities are sad and bitter. Aside from diminishing the individual and his or her abilities, such prejudice can set too high or too low a standard for individuals who are merely human.

Backlash: Many people believe individuals with disabilities are given unfair advantages, such as easier work requirements. Employers need to hold people with disabilities to the same job standards as co- workers, though the means of accomplishing those standards may differ from person to person. The Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) does not require special privileges for people with disabilities, just equal opportunities.

Denial: Many disabilities are "hidden," such as learning disabilities, psychiatric disabilities, epilepsy, cancer, arthritis and heart conditions. Some people tend to believe that these are not bona fide disabilities needing accommodation. The ADA defines "disability" as an impairment that "substantially limits one or more of the major life activities." Accommodating "hidden" disabilities which meet the above definition can keep valued employees on the job and open doors for new employees.

Fear: Many people are afraid that they will "do or say the wrong thing" around someone with a disability. They therefore avert their own discomfort by avoiding the individual with a disability. As with becoming more comfortable with people from other cultures, frequent encounters can raise the comfort level.

Breaking Down Barriers: Unlike physical and systematic barriers, attitudinal barriers that often lead to illegal discrimination cannot be overcome simply through laws. The best remedy is familiarity, encouraging people with and without disabilities to relate to each other as co-workers, associates and social acquaintances. In time, most of the attitudes will give way to comfort, respect and friendship.

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