Forgiveness

Forgiveness Takes Work

Nothing blocks the feelings of gratitude more than anger and resentment. This is why the practice of gratitude requires the work of forgiveness. It is almost impossible to feel grateful toward others for what we received from them when we are still angry about how they have treated us. Nor can we receive the gifts of a relationship that has ended when we still feel hurt over betrayal, angry over deceit, sorrowful over abandonment.

Nor should we. Trying to force ourselves to feel grateful when such negative feelings exist only compounds the pain. We have been hurt. Let us not deny our woundedness on top of everything else. Acknowledging the grievance and grieving the loss or wound, needs to happen first, before the healing can take place.

However, there comes a time in the process of emotional resolution for forgiveness. For only forgiveness can move us out of the victim stance and free us to move on. Depending on what kind of wound you have suffered, this may take deep psychological and spiritual work. No one can talk you into it. No one can do it for you. Only you can come to the place where you want to forgive.

Forgiveness does not mean accepting wrong behavior. Many of us feel justified by not forgiving. However, there is no moving forward until we forgive. Every experience has come to us as learning tools so that we might grow in wisdom and understanding. It is impossible to learn and advance without experiences. Instruments such as people and conditions provide us with these experiences. Maybe the better way of looking at it would be that they are doing us a favor, rather than being resentful, or hateful. They are giving us an opportunity to learn, expand, and to grow.

Make a Commitment to Forgive

We must, first establish an honest desire to forgive. Without this, we cannot release any noticeable power or satisfaction that can be felt by not forgiving. When facing and accepting reality, we will benefit. Reality is not to punish and cause injury to ourselves in physical, emotional, and spiritual ways. An example is hanging on to the thoughts of anger, hurt, resentment, or feeling that you have been taken advantage of. By having such feelings we produce destructive brain chemicals that have a great impact in the rest of our bodies as well. That in return can cause illness and/or depression. It is best to make the commitment to forgive.

Accept Responsibility

Accept responsibility that you may have first set the position into motion. Realize that the law of cause and effect is always in motion. This law is a law of love, not one of punishment. Do not judge or break down the experiences of others. In the art of forgiving we learn from the lessons or challenges in our experiences.

Forgive Yourself

We must accomplish forgiving ourselves first, before we can forgive others. Once we have freed ourselves from guilt, and self-depreciation, in every form, we become more aware of who we really are. Forgiveness must convert feelings and actions of the past, present, and future. The power of forgiveness is always present. It requires actions of prayer, in honesty and sincerity. We then become free to go to our own good, and to be able to aid others to their own good. This will always bring a brighter light into the darkest of times. Let us all join in to see the light.